Thanks Alameda
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Thanks Alameda
| Wed, 08-27-2003 - 1:05pm |
Thanks to you and the other poster. You are right on many levels and your questions give cause for introspection. I guess I am pretty insecure, although I am not exactly sure why. I have never had a problem getting attention from men, and yes, that attention does bolster my self worth. Guys haven't just been interested in me sexually tho--I'm on my fourth serious R and the first three culminated in a proposal that I accepted then broke. My first serious R lasted 1 1/2 years, the second the same, and the third for 4 years (is the bf I left for current bf). I have always had a hard time keeping my roving eye from roving. Not sure why--I really do want a loving, honest, healthy R. I don't want to have affairs. So, I probably need to find a different board for my particular problem. I do think it wise to wait a while before I contemplate yet another engagement. I think I will seek professional guidance on my own to help me sort this issue out.
I think I am very scared of letting someone totally in to my heart for some reason. This guy does love me and he is good for me and to me. My phraseology may have been confusing in my last post. I actually don't think he cheated on me now. He is protecting my feelings a bit because he knows I am jealous. I think his buddy asked him to occupy the time of the friend of the girl his buddy wanted to hook up with. He knew I wouldn't be cool with that--regardless of the situation. I know my cheating was wrong and I do need to protect myself from shady situations and drinking definitely has been a factor in ALL of my indiscretions. I think it's time to give that up. Anyway, thanks you guys for listening and offering advice.
--lilred.

If you follow through with your last post, then you are not a girl who has trouble making decisions (despite those broken engagements...lol) and getting some control over life!
I have a feeling that you haven't spent a lot of time single over the past several years...I haven't been single except for very brief periods in my life, and I know that part of me longs to give it a try...but I have been with my B/F for 7 years, and right now I can't imagine my life any other way...but my story is for another post. Maybe you could try being single for awhile?
Everyone feels insecure from time to time -- it is completely normal. And what woman doesn't get an ego boost from attention? You are only human, sweetie! You just have to learn your boundaries -- how to keep that feel-good flirting from turning into a one night stand and, instead, letting it evolve gradually --maybe a few dates before it gets physical? Although the desire was there in the beginning with my OM, nothing physical happened for a long time -- and I must say, it was the most exciting and sexy (albeit most complicated) part of our A!
But don't be hard on yourself for things that you regret later on. What is done is done, and all you can do is try to learn from your mistakes, or at least what you deem as mistakes.
If you don't feel comfortable posting on the board and you just want to chat, feel free to email me at alameda78@hotmail.com
All the best,
Alameda