Thanks everyone for setting me straight

Community Leader
Registered: 06-08-2010
Thanks everyone for setting me straight
5
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 5:00pm
Yes, I am really thankful. All who responded to my post on "He's not that into me" are basically telling me that my AP is mean, a man-ho, and could care less about me. I am grateful for the honesty. Guess I can safely move to EAS, coming out of this A and shaking my head saying, "what was that all about?" apparently, everyone else on here has successful A's and no one else has been in my situation. I had hope to find someone out there on this board who could support me and stop judging my AP - I have or never would say anything bad about anyone else's AP. But, I guess I got a lemon. I should just walk away and not care if he is hurt or not. More than likely he won't be, because he is a heartless man-ho who just wants sex. Isn't that what all men really want anyway? Basic instinct??? And why are all of us women with our AP's...for the added sex adventure? If it was really about commitment to our AP, then we wouldn't be deceiving our H's. If our AP's really cared about and respected us, then they wouldn't be with a MW. Ironic, isn't it? Don't you ever second guess your AP? Why am I the only one with a "man-ho"?
I'm going to focus on H and stop reading these posts so much. Take care everyone, and take a lesson from me. Watch out for the man-ho. They just want sex. And like to get it from MW who are unsuspecting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 5:17pm

I don't think most people said that hearts. Re-read your thread - maybe some did, but they were only trying to help with their opinion. YOU know your AP better than anyone else. The ones that thought he was mean were just putting themselves in the position of hearing what he says to you, that's all. If it doesn't bother you, then don't worry about it. I hope this doesn't make you leave. People here really are supportive - I think they were just trying to be "on your side". Take what's valuable in people's posts to you, and leave the rest.

Hope to keep seeing you post! (I really wanna know if he ever approaches Ms. Nicole and what she says to him!)

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2010
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 5:31pm

Hi heartsofsix - I just now read your other post, and the comments from the ladies here. Only one person called him a man-ho, not everyone. Maybe you should go back and read what you wrote in your post. It wasn't very positive and didn't put him in a good light at all. Maybe there are other things that you didn't put in there that make it not so bad, but just from reading your post, I would have to agree with the posters who responded.


"...everyone else on here has successful A's and no one else has been in my situation. I had hope to find someone out there on this board who could support me and stop judging my AP - I have or never would say anything bad about anyone else's AP. But, I guess I got a lemon..."


Of course we don't all have successful A's...there wouldn't really be a need for this board if we did. The support you got was in the form of telling you that this guy is not treating you well AT ALL!!! Maybe you can't see that...but that's what your post says. If someone was in a A, and he was physically abusive...would you make excuses for that? Not say anything bad about it? Not judge?



A man who is constantly telling you that he is not attracted to you is not really a very nice man. I mean...for the majority of us in an A, we are seeking something that we don't have in our marriage...and it's different for everybody. Some may be looking just for mind-blowing sex and really don't care if their AP talks to them about anything else in life at all. Others are looking for someone to share everyday things with, and the sex is

LouLou
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2010
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 5:33pm
I am sure, no I KNOW, that there are many man-ho's out there and many women on here most likely have come across a few... But there are some nice ones out there for sure, I have one - as confused and frustrating as he is, he's nice! and not a man-ho at all.. he actually prefers to watch movies and hang out sometimes instead of being intimate and will jokingly (?) call me a nympho, lol. BUT I had my share of man ho's too and I kept them around for the challenge cause some of us do like the bad boys but when they hurt us TOO many times, time to move on... and try and find a nice guy... I did not read your post and responses and I will when I have time but I can guess that he probably is a jerk and everyone who said so is just concerned for you because you don't deserve that. And yes we all know that even the nice ones really are not that "nice" cause they are lying cheaters - as I am one too. Your guy is probably exciting to you cause he is a challenge and we all love challenges. He plays hard to get probably? Find a nice guy... or stay with him but he will keep hurting you probably. He may be just that type of person even though he cares for you I am sure. They all "care" in their own way... you will have enough one day and tell him to hit the road... Good luck... I have been there...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2007
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 7:23pm

Hi hearts. I actually don't think your AP is mean. I think he is being straight up and honest with you. You don't need to overthink what he is saying because he is outright telling you he is "not attracted". He is telling you about another girl he is "crazy about". This is more than most will get from their APs.


The fact that he is telling you that he is "not attracted" is exactly that. It does not mean that you are not attractive. Each person has their own view of who is attractive.


No not all men want only sex - I'd never say that. Take a look at EAs on here. There is no sex but all and emotional affair.


I think if you are content knowing that he is just satisfied with sex and a good friendship (no love) then that is okay.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 11:36pm

I think Lou said it all. Regardless of what we have in our A's (and heart many of them are frustrating and stressful), what we dont have is someone being openly nasty.


My AP causes me stress absolutely- but when we are together he says and does beautiful things for me. If he stressed me out AND THEN told me I was unattractive to him- he'd be out the door faster than he could say another woman's name.


I think women and men on this Board are very supportive. Im sorry you interpreted that support as negative. It obviously isnt something you are ready to hear yet.


Good luck


Iggyx


You are what you consistently do