Therapy with AP...
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| Wed, 09-29-2010 - 3:33pm |
So, interesting development... my AP is coming to my next therapy appointment with me. We've been talking about our R and what it all means and it's just gotten so intense. He doesn't talk to anyone but me about us, I'm his best friend so he can't really ask me for advice. He knows that therapy has helped me this summer to figure out my feelings, articulate them and mostly just to have someone to talk to that doesn't judge and is there to help me. I'm not sure what it all means or what will happen. I'm hopeful that it will help him get to a decision point or some resolution about us, but we'll see. We've done some pretty stupid things over the course of our A and I'm surprised in hindsight we haven't had a D-Day yet (especially considering our weekend away a few weeks ago that some of you know about). I can't tell you how many times we tell each other how much we love each other, how often we talk, how neither one of us can stop thinking about our situation. It's literally exhausting, but I continue to feel alive and so

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Me and AP had this conversation today about the logistics and all of being together.
Seriously? When you figure out a plan do you mind sharing it with me? We are in the same boat. Both married, (no kids). Where to even start with a plan?!? I know it will be far from perfect and can't go exactly how we plan it to go... but I have no idea how to start. How long have you been with your AP? How long have you and he been married to your SO's? I've been married 3 yrs, and my AP has been married 11 yrs.
I'll be sure to let you know if we figure it out.
We've known eachother for about 5 years, met at work. We've gotten a lot closer the last 3 yrs or so, have built a business within our existing company together and our coworkers see us as inseperable. We are legitimately best friends and when this all started as a PA earlier this year, we admitted to each other that the thought had crossed our minds a number of times but neither one of us ever thought we'd act on it. We also travel a lot for work. We've had a number of trips together this year, which is when this all started. So we see each other every day, at least when we're both here. We sit next to each other. We meet before work and after work a few times a week. We talk every day... we've been in an intense PA since March. It hasn't lessened in any way, shape or form and just continues to grow and deepen. I worry that my heart is going to be broken because my DH and I have been distant for quite a while but my AP and his DW don't have any issues. He realizes that something is missing for him to have fallen into what we have. I just don't know if he has it in him to actually leave her. Our SO's are both wonderful people, and neither one of us wants to hurt them. I mean, we obviously are by doing what we are doing already... but the idea of telling them that it's over is one that neither one of us can really wrap our head around. Our hearts tell us we want to be together, but our minds are fighting the battle... logistics, a plan, everything... so much to think about. So I really don't know what's going to happen. But I've never felt anything like this before...
figuring,
Our stories are so similar.
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