There are happy endings

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2007
There are happy endings
6
Sun, 09-08-2013 - 12:16pm

Just dropping by to remind you all that not all affairs end badly.  My affair was a classic exit affair for both of us.  Started a friendship, six months later it turned physical and within three months of that, I had started my divorce and he had disclosed the affair to his wife and they had separated.  Ten years later, we are still together and happily married.

We have a good relationship with his grown children and I have a cordial relationship with his first wife, which says more about her than me.   We have had a few discussions over the years and she has forgiven us both.  She understands that we did not set out to hurt her and that this was something that happened that we could not control.  

We are best friends and lovers.  I have the relationship I always wanted, with a man who loves me and cares about me.  Ten years ago when we were dealing with the fallout of everyone's knowledge of the affair and were  trying to chart a path to being together, I could not have imagined how good it really was going to be.  It was worth it.

Colorunner


Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 09-09-2013 - 12:59pm

Color, good to see you!  Your post happen to pop up as a highlighted thread.  After 7 years, the first 2 being a separated MM, me and DH married in June. 

We may be the exception, but yes, it does happen!  That may not be the goal of everyone one on MAS, but that's my story.  :) 

Serenity CL making a second marriage work

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 11:53am

Very happy for you.

Just one example of how things CAN and DO turn out differently in some cases. How not every person who has an affair is an evil monster hell-bent on destroying their partner's life. How sometimes, just because two people THOUGHT they were right for each other years before does not mean they still are in later life.

Every story is different. Everyone has their reasons. I've been with my partner for 10 years and have never been unfaithful to him; am not planning to or wanting to. I have however, cheated  in the past. Aside from obviously being very happy and in love still, very much so, the reson why I am not tempted is that we met at 33 and 36 and I'd BTDT,  worn the t-shirt dozens BUT DOZENS of times. I know. I've done it, I've felt it, I've had it, there's nothing I have not experienced. Have had many many r-ships, flings, ons-s, anything and everything. I don't need newness and passion and madness..not anymore. Not at this age and stage in life and not when I have my beloved partner. Some mild flirtation perhaps - everyone needs that in lfie.. :)

My point was... some posters  on BS board are naive to the point of stupidity talking about how 'we've been together since 15 and now we are 45 and how COULD HE want to sleep with anyone but me'. A simple human curiosity. What..have I missed? How is it with her, or her, or her. You know what I mean.

I've got many thoughts on the subject..

Anyway, best. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2010
Sun, 09-15-2013 - 12:54am

I think everyone has a unique situation. Most do not have happy endings and going into an A seeking that can end up backfiring. For those who are able to make it work is testament to the fact that no A is a cookie cutter relationship. Hope you guys stay together forever:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2011
Sun, 09-15-2013 - 12:55am

I am glad things worked out for you. Someone on here said they quicker you become a RL couple the more likely it will happen. Unfortunately I am finding out the hard way this is true.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2013
Mon, 09-23-2013 - 10:41pm

right now I am going through something very similar. I am glad to read that there are sometimes happy endings. I am hoping for my happy ending, but only time will tell. Its nice to know that people understand that each situation is different and no one affair is alike the other. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2014
Tue, 01-21-2014 - 9:46pm
For those who have found these happy endings. . . How did it work? How did you tell your former spouses? When you divorced, did you say why? Did you both file at the same time?