Is there a balance?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2003
Is there a balance?
3
Fri, 08-22-2003 - 1:07pm
I have recently started an A with someone I see everyday. This person is no comparison with my H, but I find myself enthralled with him. I am extremely attracted to him physically, but not emotionally..My H and I have a decent sex life, there is room for more, but when we are together- it is great. My emotions are confusing me because as much as I love my H, I constanly think of the OM. Where can I find an equal balance in this situation..It is hard for me to split my feelings and realize that one is just physical and the other is emotional and physical...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Fri, 08-22-2003 - 1:39pm
Try not to *think* about it too much is my advice. Just go with the flow and play everything by ear. I love my bf and I love my OM. Do I love them in the same way? No. Can I sit here and figure out the difference? I doubt it. I just accept it and try to have fun. Because fun is fun and done is done. When/if it starts to not be fun anymore, that's when I'm done.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-22-2003 - 1:59pm
exactly! derrygirl is right. i love two men, differently of course, but still i do. i have a balance because in reality MM and i both know the primary R comes first. fun is fun. when the A gets hard to handle or makes me sad, it's done.

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 2:04am
I envy you ladies who can accept the A for what it is and not obsess about it! I never intended to have an A but when my MM and I got to know each other and I felt (feel) that my emotional support was lacking in my M, we just turned to each other and it happened. However, after 3 mos. I am on that so called roller-coaster and vary from day to day how I feel about staying in the A. Some days I feel like I have to get off this ride and devote myself to my marriage. . . .the next day I feel like I couldn't live without my MM in my life. It's wonderful when I'm with him, but then I agonize about when we'll be together again or if we should be together again. How I wish I could be like some of you and take it in stride, accept it for what it is, and just be happy for the times I can spend with him.

TA