Things are going really well!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Things are going really well!
2
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 9:55am

Hi everybody,

I always hoped that getting a job would be the first step to regaining my mental health, and it's doing exactly that. Getting this job has been a real godsend! You know that saying, use it or lose it? Well, it's true. My brain is really starting to work again and it feels so very good. That whole year(ish) that I was off, my brain kind of took a vacation...my memory and concentration powers were absolutely nil but that is all changing, slowly but surely.

Things with AP/BF are really wonderful again too. He was so happy for me when I told him about the job, and it seems to have lightened him up quite a bit as well. I know that he worried about me a lot. He's been away on another job and has been gone a week so far and while I miss him dreadfully, it's okay.

He had been (strangely) resistant to getting an email address, but has now bit the bullet and got one. I wanted very badly to ask him for it, but I didn't because I wanted it to come from him. Well, the other day he texted me to tell me that he had emailed me! And what a wonderful email it was. It was very chatty and he described (in great detail) all the work he was doing. Boy, if you could only learn by osmosis...I would be the greatest carpenter around, lol. The best part of the email of course was his sign off....told me that he really missed me a lot and he couldn't wait to see me again. We text just about every day, and we've talked on the phone a few times too.

So, things are FINALLY starting to look up. The job is hard, but I do think that I will "get" it eventually (at least, I'd better!). AP/BF and I have entered a new phase in our R...also pretty darned great. I am more in love with him than I've ever been, and I really feel like he feels the same. It's very gratifying to me, to realize that he still thinks about me all the time...just the way I think of him. We are so comfortable with each other and it's great.

Thanks for helping me through all the angst, no one else knows how I feel the way you all do...and it really helped me when I needed it.

benska

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2009
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 10:18am
Glad to hear that you are in a good place for now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 2:52pm

Thanks for your reply anotherfive,

You pointed something out that I meant to mention in my post, and that is...although things are looking up at the moment, and I am very happy with where I am in life and my R with AP/BF...there may come a time (yet again) when the rollercoaster is on the down swing. I pray that it doesn't happen too soon, I want to enjoy some of this peace that I'm feeling for a long time!

However, my AP/BF is STILL married, he STILL is not going to leave her for me...blah, blah, blah. It's just something that I have to try not to dwell on.

One day at a time....

benska