Things felt different....
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| Tue, 09-16-2003 - 6:55pm |
Things fell together yesterday and MM was able to get out of work and spend the afternoon with me... 3 whole hours of bliss :) and I'll be the first to admit... it was all going to be about the sex... both of us wanted it and both of us wanted it bad! but yesterday... just seemed so different.
I'm not sure I can even explain why... the sex was the same... in that it's just so amazing and intense... but what we shared inbetween was 'different' I've never ever felt awkward with MM in the bedroom at all... but yesterday we were so at ease and comfortable that it scared me. More like a married couple than I would have ever have thought. I mean we've always managed to make light of things... but yesterday while the sex was still intense... it was fun... if that makes sense? we were able to make each other laugh... at the appropriate time of course... and it was just soooo good!
I felt that even his touch and kiss were a little different... I don't know... I know mine has changed when I realised how I feel about him... so I suppose why shouldn't his... but I guess it's just something I hadn't expected.
I know that what we have now... is all that we'll ever have... but that doesn't been that our relationship can't grow and get stronger... and I feel that might be what is happening between us.
but I'm so happy this morning... I'm on top of the world... and will just enjoy it while I can.
Sweet

I think that I know what you mean. It just seemed like one day the whole r had changed, not in a bad way though. His touch just seemed...I don't know how to explain it. But it was the kind of feelings that bring tears to your eyes when you look into his. Not bad tears, tears of happiness. Our time together seems so married like. We are so comfortable together now. I can't imagine life without him. I'm so happy for you. Those are the best days. Those are the days you never want to come to an end.
Sweet, I'm glad you are feeling the joys of your relationship right now. The highs of spending time with MM is wonderful isn't it? Save some room up there on cloud nine for me!!
Anyone ever see Legally Blonde? The break-up scene in the restaurant is just like this - she goes into dinner thinking he is going to propose, but instead he breaks up with her.
I too, have had my doubts about our relationship. MM and I are in more of a 'lost love rekindled' sort of thing. We have a tremendous amount of history together going back just over 10 years. The reason we broke up was bad timing. So I didn't enter into this EMA, willing to risk everything, for some guy I just met. And I would NEVER do anything like this with anyone else......just a little background info.
I knew the last couple of times MM and I were together things felt 'different'. I didn't say anything to him about it either time, but we talked about it. One time I was leaving and he just kept holding on to me and was saying I dont want to let you go, over and over. Then the next week we talked about it on the phone and he said that he couldn't put into words how much it hurt him to see me drive away. Then he said he could put it into words but that would only complicate our situation even more. We were talking on the phone another time, and I was saying how tired I was and I was ready to go home. He said yes, I am ready for you to come home to me. Then the other day I asked him if he was having second thoughts about us, and he actually got offended that I asked. He said there is no way that he would ever want to lose me again. Then he said that he would have to fix all those doubts when I saw him next, which will be in about 6 weeks.
Now, I can't speak for all of the ladies here, some of their situations I question MM's motives too, but in my case only, I believe that he and I are on the same page.
usually what men say is exactly what they mean. women look for something more.
anyway, thanks for the laugh yoga.
gurl
I have to agree with you in many ways... one reason I don't normally say something... unless I really feel it's different.
Look! I know that what MM and I have is essentially the sex... and I even admitted in my first post that that's what Tuesday was all about... but as I said... I just noticed subtle things that he had not done before.
Our kiss goodbye... was also different... how? well... I mean it's slowly been changing anyway... gone from a kiss on the lips... to several lingering ones before he has to walk out the door... it's usually me that will keep them going... but not this day... it was him... and before giving me one more... he was like hmmmmm.... with a smile as though he was savouring them.
Maybe I am looking at something that isn't there... but I don't think so... over the past few weeks... we've began to discuss the understanding we have off our relationship... and I think that this has made him just that little more comfortable knowing for certain that I will never push for what can't be and have accepted what we have for what it is... this was the first time we've been together after many deep and meaningful emails and phone conversations have passed between us.
Besides... you should know by now that while I may be a dreamer... I know the realities... so I'm not looking for anything that I may think will lead me to a fairytale ending... cos that just aint going to happen... just want to enjoy it for the moment.
luv and hugs
Sweet
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
I'm glad you had such a great day the other day. It's wonderful to have such memories to savor while you're waiting for your next chance to be together. It certainly does sound like y'alls relationship is getting stronger and I think you're right about it being because you have reached a renewed understanding of just how it is you guys fit into each other's lives. Getting rid of unknowns - like what exactly is it that she expects of me and can I live up to it? - can make for much more confidence in each other.
I'm happy for you that you had such a wonderful time together. Hope you can see him again soon!
Lucky
T.
I feel that just because it is a "secret" relationship it doesn't mean the relationship can't grow and develop, and the people with it. After all, in a good relationship, one partner aids another in their healthy development - for any type of relationship.
I'm happy you've had a wonderful time and hope you stay on that cloud until next time!
Hugs,
Meow