Things getting tangled ... help
Find a Conversation
Things getting tangled ... help
| Wed, 01-07-2004 - 12:17pm |
EMA is almost 2 yrs now, on and off, mostly a FWOB/FWB situation, and lately FWOB. He separated w/ W almost a month now and he's losing it. The problem is I like him married, being married is what is good for him. We talked about it and I'm doing everything I can to help him keep it together, advice, etc. The problem is that unless they reconcile I am feeling a strong need to pull back from the R. Esp. in light of what's going on in my M as DH and I are discussing the real possibility of separating, DH doesn't want it and it's more me feeling tired of putting up w/ his verbal/emotional abusive rages. I love him but he has a real problem. I'm trying to compartmentalize, keeping things separate but I feel it is getting all convoluted. Being w/ MM actually helped me cope better in my M. Right now I feel I need to omit men from my life entirely. If me and DH split I would feel the need to distance myself from MM whether or not he reconciles or not, more so if he does not.
As I type this I'm thinking that I will distance myself from MM and let him work his own issues out while I do the same. If I sound confused, that's because I am.
Any words of wisdom out there???

back off MM for awhile, but let him know you need time for YOU, not because of his situation. and really, really try to figure out what YOU want for the future. i know, i know -- that's hard to do because you feel obligated to everyone else except yourself, but it's time to face the music, girl.
once you figure out what you want for yourself, you can move in that direction. MM can take care of himself, as can your H. they are big boys!! and remember, they are doing what is best for them.
good luck,
gurl
NMR, I'm thinking of just concentrating on my work and forgetting men altogether. It's taking up too much energy. I can't live my life around these men, esp. MM who is reacting to his W's vascillating who in turn is dumping on me. Time to move on.
Thanks so much ladies. You are the best!
Luvin