Things keep falling into place...

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Things keep falling into place...
Sat, 07-14-2012 - 8:18pm

I'm used to not getting what I want...used to just settling...used to shrugging and putting on a happy face and saying, "Oh well, guess it wasn't meant to be."  But lately, it seems like things are falling into place and pushing me toward him.  

I was excited that I'd get 3 days with him next week (two shared with people) and then an emergency came up and I had to call him in to help.  It was the first time I'd seen him in nearly a month.  His grin was as big as mine when he got out of his truck and walked towards me.  I missed him but more importantly, I think he missed me.  It took him an hour to do a 30 min. job and even though he squeezed me in between appointments, he stood around and talked to me for another half hour after that.  I asked him to go on the business trip with me.  He said, "Sure, we're going to room together right?"  I knew he was teasing so I started working the angle that I'm just a little small fry of a girl, driving on an interstate and what happens if I stop and someone sees that I'm alone?  He didn't say no but he hasn't said yes.  What he did say yes to was having lunch with me!  My boss usually brings him lunch so I told my boss that they didn't have to come all the way in to work just to do that...I could easily just grab him something and throw it in the fridge.  So when I saw him on Friday, I asked him what he wanted for lunch on Tuesday and he said, "What do you want?"  It surprised me enough that I replied, "Why ___, are you actually going to go out to lunch with me?"  Then he asked who else was going to be there and when I said that it was probably just going to be the two of us, he smiled and asked where we were going.  

So I plan on bringing up the business trip again.  And if he teases me with the same line, I'm going to call his bluff.  I'm also going to bring up his fan club at work (the 2-3 married women that show up when they see he's on the calendar) and see if he even realizes that he really does attract women.  I've done enough serious joking with him that I know if I see panic in his eyes and I've totally misread him, I can still save face.  But over the last 3 weeks I have read SO much about body language and either he's the biggest flirt in the world or he's interested.  I feel nervous as the time gets closer to when I see him again but the second I look into those crystal blue eyes (and I'm SUCH a sucker for blue eyes), I lose the nerves and am filled with such confidence.  I'm the me I was before I got married and had kids.

I keep finding myself with the same thought process.  If __ happens then I'm on the right track.  Absolutely no reason why an emergency call would need to be made but suddenly he was very much needed.  If he'd not come as early as he had, I wouldn't have been able to work with him alone.  If he comes on this trip, then I know for sure.  It's a wide open invitation.  So easy to explain away to everyone.  Although, I think with the two of us, if anything did happen, it would be best explained by being honest in a joking manner.  He already tells everyone I'm his girlfriend and I already tell everyone that he's the highlight of my month and every day between his visits is like slow, agonizing torture to my soul.

Sorry...long and rattly but I had to get it off my chest and the dogs listened for a whole 20 seconds before walking away.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2010
Sat, 08-11-2012 - 9:08am
I noticed no one had replied to your post so I wanted to just say that if you take this step, be ready for everything to change. You will worry about everything even more than you do now, and your life will begin a roller coaster ride. And be careful all the time. You can never let yourself let your guard down. Good luck with your decision. Wishing you the best!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Sat, 08-11-2012 - 9:08pm

Oh!  I thought I had replied to your post, but I guess I didn't.  I'm wondering if I am getting your situationconfused.  Are you the one who works on a ranch, and he helps with the horses?  Sorry if I am wrong.  Did the business trip already happen?  We need an update!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Sun, 08-12-2012 - 7:45pm

Haha!  Oh, well, I guess that makes sense!  Thanks for the clarification.