Think This Will be my Final Post

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Think This Will be my Final Post
13
Wed, 06-09-2010 - 9:46pm

As I've said before, I've been getting an odd vibe from AP the last couple of weeks.

anotherseyes

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2010
Wed, 06-09-2010 - 10:09pm

((HUGS)) another...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2009
Wed, 06-09-2010 - 10:11pm

Hugs...I know/understand the feeling.


First, you need to determine (within yourself) if you feel as though you can just cut him free and NEVER see him again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Wed, 06-09-2010 - 11:22pm

Well, he just IM'd me.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 3:44am

Hi Another


I love the 'blow by blow' so please dont apologise. I have been in the exact same spot. Although I did accept the more casual approach, which seems now to be pretty much what it was before but without the guilt hots and colds that he used to get (we agreed no talk of feelings or future).


But it is sooooo had to be where you are- where we all will or have been at some point in our A.


The nature of As is that it must will always run hot and cold simply due to life getting busy, guilt, other things etc. The problenm with As though is that we dont have to daily togetherness to balance it, or give it context. We dont know they are running 'cold' because they had a fight with their children or spouse. We need them to tell us the context of whats going on, but distance and limited contact makes that impossible- so we fret.


I like you am an over-thinker and an over-feeler. This isnt to say that the majority of my thoughts and feelings arent absolutely spot on- but I can get carried away with them.


All the best- big hug- and hope you guys work it out somehow xxxxxx

You are what you consistently do
You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2009
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 6:43am
you will never give him up........you text him excessively...you cant just be friends with him......Your final post............nope.........
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 7:34am

Another, I'm trying to understand what it is you want from him, really. You've said that he lets you be yourself, has told you that he wants you to share your feelings, and that you believe, when he stops texting first, that it's because he's busy. You've also said that you don't want him to say he "loves" you or that you will both leave your spouses. Is it just that you want him to say "OK, we're more than friends". Plain and simple, is it that you want him to admit that this is "more" (because it obviously is). The "hot and cold" you speak of - most of the time, for you, it's just a matter of his getting busy, isn't it? I know that most men will "claim" that's the case, but one can usually tell if it's true - in your case it seems to be true most of the time.

I guess, as someone said, the whole A life isn't for you. It causes you so much pain and the extreme highs and lows are not good for you. I'm not sure that him admitting that you are "more than friends" will really change that - might make it worse. Think ahead - if he admits you are more than friends, what then? I think his point is, if he admits feelings, the next logical step would be to talk about a future, and that's what is scaring him so much that he's not been able to take that first step - admitting feelings. He probably thinks, if there's no future, talk of feelings is irrelevant. He's trying to take it one day at a time.

I hope your talk went well, I am looking forward to reading it! (((Hugs))) for what you are going through right now!

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2010
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 9:05am

"I've somehow got to maintain my stand that it's strictly friendship (with no flirting, sexual innuendos, etc), or he allows it to be more, no in between!"

What is the later one supposed to mean?? What does your 'more' mean? Its difficult to understand that being a woman and how will he understand being a man? lol!

You are confused.Clear up your head as to what you really want and then be vocal about it.If he too wants the same,nothing is better for you but either way,you will know if you should continue or end.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 3:55pm
Do you ever have anything supportive to say to anyone, because if you do, I've yet to see it.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 4:18pm

Sorry if I confused you, lexi!

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2009
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 5:57pm
Yes I do and I have been on this site for years..

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