Thinking about ending my A
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| Tue, 05-25-2004 - 9:57am |
I hate the way I'm obsessed about the cell phone, if he calls or not if he leaves messages or not. And if I'm gonna go meet him at night.
My marriage doesn't deserve this and my H doesn't either. I'm gonna make one more attempt at working on my M and if it doesn't work Then next year I will be getting a D. But I won't be able to do that with this A in the way.
It's gonna be sooo hard to break from this habit to meet with mm for sex. It's become a habit and an addiction for both of us. Well he still hasn't called so I STILL don't know what's on his mind. I think I got some feelings into this as well, that's why it's gonna be hard also. But I don't understand why though? Don't know why I got my feelings into it. Don't even know how he feels about me. except what he says while having sex, that he thinks about me everyday and i'm better than his wife and all that crap!!
When mm calls for the next time to get together, I think I'm gonna tell him.. so thaks everyone for your support this past 1 1/2 yrs.

You know how many times I want to end mine? At least once a week. I see where you're coming from and I think the same way. I have to be able to concentrate on my M situation totally before I can think logically whether I am happy in it or not.
Everytime, like now for instance, I think that way, it is because I am being "neglected" by mm. I send him the email last Monday, get a sexy call on Tues., and NOTHING since. He is leaving next week for two weeks and seems he has no plans to be with me before he goes. He never returned my vm message yesterday ( he never got another one I left a couple weeks ago) so I emailed him this morning about a business situation... I mentioned how "frustration" was my middle name this week. His response? "keep truckin" that was it!! I get tired of being #1 taken for granted and #2 him not understanding or caring about my feelings at all. So why do I do this???
Then he'll call me either today...tomorrow and I'll forget all about my frustrating feeling I have right now.... UGH!
dd
I am totally in your boat. Next time I see MM I'm ending it too. I really care about MM, but I'm beginning to see that it's just a sexual fling to him. We were friends (and he's my boss) before the A and I came into it not expecting anything. We flirted a lot at work and met afterwards for great sex. (why is sex always so much better with our MM?) But somewhere along the way it turned emotional for me. I know and don't expect him to leave his W for me, but I just want a little more response out of him.
But now I'm tired of hanging onto my cell phone or checking my email 50 times a day. When he does call or email everything is great, but it's the down times I don't like.
The final straw was last night at our son's baseball game. He came up behind W (who is a friend of mine, but doesn't love MM) and put his arms around her while she was standing next to me. It took all my might to keep a straight face...it hurt so much. I'm not sure why he did it, especially since I know how loveless their marriage is and this not a normal affection for them.
My husband was offered a great job in another town. I need to end this A so I can clear my head and make sure I'm making the right decision to move or not. I love my job and where we live and not sure if moving with my H is the right choice. But I need to give my M a chance.
I hope all of this made sense and I do understand how you feel. If you want to chat more you can email me.
WM
db
I kept thinking about what we have and what we do. (we only have a sex a)! I was reading last night and it's a sensual A. Anyway, he's the only one I desire and want to have sex with. I don't even want H. Even before this started I didn't want H.
I remember one night we got together and had sex in his truck he was holding me tight and telling me that I'm the only one he wants to have sex with and he doesn't want his wife anymore. It was so intense. AUGH!!!!!!!!
Today is Wednesday, so maybe he'll call for our "get together"! It usually happens wed or thurs.'s and sometimes sat. nights.. I'll let you know if he calls..
Chris