thinking of having an affair......

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
thinking of having an affair......
7
Sat, 05-09-2009 - 12:12pm

hello, my name is heather and i need some advice, or words... or, something and dont know where else to go... since most people would just yell at me for even having these thoughts and would actually listen... but, as a habitual cheater (DH is the first and only man i havent cheated on...its like an addiction to me or something...)

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Sat, 05-09-2009 - 12:39pm

If it were me,


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2008
Sat, 05-09-2009 - 12:43pm

Video addiction is a big problem. Does your husband work?
Would he go to get help with the addiction? Do you have insurance?

All you have to do is start reading the posts to see that adding another "variable" (the Abercrombie-player...and he sounds like a dog-player)
to your marriage is not going to help, but complicate it.

Please find another way to make yourself feel better. It would be so much healthier.

You don't sound like a "Wal Mart" girl to me. You sound like someone who is struggling and looking for help. Maybe in the wrong direction. But looking. Please resist this guy. It sounds like he just wants sex and you are worth so much more than that.

Take care.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Sat, 05-09-2009 - 1:02pm

yea my Dh works.. but if he isnt at work, he is on the game. he played 10 hours yesterday,

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2009
Sat, 05-09-2009 - 11:12pm

I know that feeling of loneliness and like you are just married to your roommate. It sucks! And the whole 20 mins. for sex, ugh. Maybe just enjoy the flirting with this guy, but if he gets too serious remind him you are married. That could be just enough of what you need to feel good.

I don't know. I know what I get/got out of an affair, and to be honest, it really helped me and my self esteem. But I think I may be a bird of a different color! Just when I had come to accept exactly what I was going to get out of the affair, and just when I was totally OK with that (honestly, I was very content) x-ap had his "d-day" and I ended it right there.

It was kind of a bummer but really made me see the light. And I won't say I would never do it again. ---But, I would have never done it (nor will I ever) with a guy that I consider to just be a player or someone looking for a one night stand. That will just make you feel worse in the end.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2009
Sun, 05-10-2009 - 12:17am
I have felt neglected and lonely and how easy it is for even a little attention to go a long way. I'm a mom and before you do anything remember you can change your kids life by picking up the phone to call him. Or you can change your life by talking to your husband, tell him what you need from him. You have to tell him that you need more time with him. Tell him you don't feel loved, be ready to tell him how he can make you feel loved again. Tell him what you need. And ask him how he feels in your marriage. It sound so cheesy but that why you know you did what you could to make your family work. I had a husband that played video games and watched porn all the time( i didn't know about the porn) I had no clue when he ate. But he gave up the video games after i told him what i needed and he had to make a choice video game or a wife. I thought he left porn behind too but just found out he didn't. If I do leave him i know i did my part to make my marriage work and that i did all i could to built a family. Betrayal is the worst feeling in the world, its painful, i'm drowning in it and all i can think of is he didn't even think of our kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
Sun, 05-10-2009 - 1:17pm

Luvmy...


Please please re-read your posts.

maystone
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2009
Mon, 05-11-2009 - 8:26am

Hi, Sweetie


I am sorry to tell you this but there are some HORNY GUYS that would do anything for a new laid... I used to

playing the fool..is never easy