Thinking of starting an A...help!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2012
Thinking of starting an A...help!!
17
Wed, 04-11-2012 - 12:11pm

I am a 31 yr old, happily married male. Recently, there is a woman at work who I've known for a few years that I find myself attracted to. I find myself wanting to see her more and more throughout the day and I always make a point to say very nice things and "flirt" with her. She is married also. We have had more than one conversation about our spouses, some of which were very personal.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Wed, 04-11-2012 - 12:47pm

Welcome Hawkeye,

I would say don't do it but 9 times out of 10 a persons mind is usually made up and you'll do what you want regardless. Just remember this is at the work place and if it doesn't work out things can get very uncomfortable. You also face alot of conflict emotionally, mentally & physically. An attraction like that once you've crossed that line is very hard to come back from. Once you have a taste of that forbidden

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


<

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2012
Wed, 04-11-2012 - 12:54pm

Thanks purplerayne007. I think the awkwardness if it doesn't work will be a huge factor in going forward or not. And I agree, the "forbidden fruit" is very tempting a delicious. I'm still torn on what to do. I don't want to just turn a cold shoulder to this woman, b/c we are friends and I'm not that kind of person. But part of me feels that if I don't, something will end up happening in the future. Ahhhh!! Lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2010
Wed, 04-11-2012 - 1:00pm
I agree with Rayne. Just keep in mind the pain in ending an affair with a co-worker is twice as hard. Not to mention people around you can easily pick up on things. The fun and excitement of an affair is amazing, but nothing stays fresh forever. All affairs have an end, they either loose steam,you get caught or emotions become entangled and you have to make a choice. You can try and justify starting the affair by stating your going to keep your emotions out of it, but you can't control hers. Also the little things that bother you at home will become big things. We think an affair will make us happy, fill in the things we are missing, but in the end it shows us how sad we are. Think hard about what you want out of life, where you want to be three years from now. Because I can guareentee you one thing an affair changes you in ways you never imagined. Good luck!
~Sunny~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2010
Wed, 04-11-2012 - 1:02pm
In the words of "PINK" who knew?
~Sunny~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Wed, 04-11-2012 - 1:26pm
As always Sunny hit it right on the nose....Many times I've sat down and said...
Who knew.....

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


<

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2012
Wed, 04-11-2012 - 1:31pm

Thank you both for the advice, it really is helping. I'm still torn, but it's helping.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2010
Wed, 04-11-2012 - 1:49pm
Let me ask you this...
What do you want from this woman? What can she give you that you don't have? Excitement? Newness? An ego stroke? Now let's add things we know will happen, distraction, lying, excuses, drama?

Inform yourself, read, read, read how women feel and act in an affair. Take your time, think, ask questions and then make your choice.
~Sunny~
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2006
Wed, 04-11-2012 - 1:49pm

I am an employer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2012
Wed, 04-11-2012 - 1:53pm

The more I think about it, the more I realize I may just be looking for a "shake-up" in the bedroom. Just something physical, some excitement. I know that if I do that with this person, a lot more will come with it. I'm starting to lean towards "no".

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2011
Wed, 04-11-2012 - 2:45pm

You have the answer. Just ask yourself, Is it worth it?
Worth getting caught, worth heartache for you and/or her and/or your spouses. Worth losing your marriage, worth an STD, worth awkwardness at work... etc

If the answer is no, not worth any of those, don't do it. If it's worth it, enjoy!

You know I mean well here, hawk. You really shouldn't do it...

Pages