Thinking of telling her...
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| Thu, 10-30-2003 - 8:50am |
All along during our A, he expressed a strong interest to remain friends when/if the intimate relationship would end....Now, he is retracting on that wish. He has a right to change his mind, sure, as does anyone. But I can't help feeling that something else, besides his W's pregnancy has drastically changed how he felt about me.
I am grappling w./ the idea of telling his W. I don't know why, maybe b/c I am so bitter about how he has treated me for the past month or so, and how everything is always on his terms and still is. He knows I wil always have the upper hand, we've joked about it in the past, and I promised him I wouldn't hurt her, I have no reason to, she is innocent in all of this.But I still feel angry at him for stepping all over my soul, even though I let him....
Has anyone felt this way? Is there a way to push these thoughts of telling her out of my head...I don't know her, but know how to contact her, of course. But I don't want to adn I do at the same time, just to get back at him!!

Edited 10/1/2004 6:51 pm ET ET by sally289
Your OM is in a really tough place right now with a baby on the way and by the sounds of it he is making a huge sacrifice (giving you up) in order to try to adjust to this new addition to his life. I dont think anything has him backing away from you except the fact that his life is changing drastically with the addition of a child to his life and he's freaking.
The only things I can suggest are (1)Sit on the sidelines and be patient to see what the outcome is or (2) Let him go and move on... BUT...DO NOT TELL HIS WIFE
*hugs*
cl-liberalgirl
callmeliberal@hotmail.com
Next Friday is fine as long as we stick to the following 3 conditions:
1) Keep things light and fun. Make is a time to remember.
2) No anger/bitterness, scathing remarks, etc.
3) This has to be the last time. No matter what I may say during or afterwards.
Any ideas for venue? I am yours from 8:00 am to 8:00 pm, lets drive somewhere but not too far.
The other day he was writing to me telling me that he didn't want to go away or was skeptical to spend anymore time w/ me for fear of "opening old wounds." He wrote: "The truth is that I think about you and miss you every day. It sucks that we can’t be together long term, but this is the choice I have to make. Maybe we should be thankful that circumstances caused the relationship to come to such an abrupt end – who knows if we would have the strength to end it after a year or more. I don’t know if I would have."
I am still feeling bitter and still feeling as though there is more behind his reason for calling it off, when he has already done that and then retracted.... I am so confused!! I don't want it to end. And you guys are right, I really shouldn't tell his W, she has no idea what an a$$ her husband is.
Help me let go of him.... I do not want to destroy his W's life, this is their 3rd child (all under the age of 3)...But does she deserve his deceitfulness as much as I do?? I am single and young, and in this world today, who's to say I don't ave some STD and he's not spreading it to her (I don't) but did he think of her when he was sleeping w/ me w/out protection?? Nope.
You have all been very helpful though, thank you...