For those in a LDA. I have a question?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
For those in a LDA. I have a question?
14
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 1:36pm
What was the longest period between physical contact??

How much time passed between you two were able to physically be with each other again?

Weeks? Months?

I need to know to make me feel better. I'm about to burst, lol....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 3:19pm
We don't meet often either even though its not LDA. It is hard to get by with very little contact. We go for 6-8 wks without any contact and even after that its not always sex. You know MM has been telling me lately he is going to separate from his wife (they have issues that don't relate to us) soon. Then I can get to see him often. Now, hold your self missy. LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2003
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 5:32pm
Totally LDA... we meant a two times in this last year!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 6:59pm
My MM and I are in the middle of our longest separation to date... Its been two months since we've seen each other and there is no end in sight. Around New Years, I hit rock bottom because we couldn't even speak to each other. I convinced myself that he had decided to leave our relationship and he was just taking the easy way out and shutting me out completely. Finally he was able to get ahold of me and I realized that he was missing me just as much as I was missing him. This morning he actually had a semi-breakdown over this separation. He's a manly kind of guy but I thought that he might actually start to cry today. I think he's hitting the point that I was at a few weeks ago. He's also older than me, by quite a bit, and he has begun to show some jealousy and insecurity since the beginning of this separation. He keeps making comments about me leaving him for "some young buck" and he asks me when I am going to try to get rid of "the old geezer". I guess absence does make the heart grow fonder but at the same time I think absence drives even the most sane person into a semi-psychotic state of mind.

Chin up! He'll be back soon!

EX

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2003
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 7:56pm
It has been 6 months since we've seen each other in person and it will likely be another 6 months before we can be together. He's in the military and won't be moving back here for 3 or 4 years so I am learning to live with it. We email and IM every couple days and talk on the phone about once a month. It's difficult but what choice do I have? I'm not prepared to give him up so I've accepted it.

I worry about him giving up on us when I haven't heard from him for a week or so too, but he is quick to assure me that he'll let me know if his feelings change. In my case he's five years younger than I am. Is it always the older one that has insecurities? ;-) LDAs are so incredibly difficult but I didn't go looking for this, it just happened and now I'm learning to deal with it.

Good luck Ex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 7:57pm
I haven't seen my MM since Sept.. We were supposed to see each other during the holidays, but we didn't. And like you, it looks like no end either. Maybe another 2 months. Arrggg!

I'm hoping.

I'm the one though feeling it. I feel frustrated and stressed cause I miss him so much.

We email or talk on the phone, but still!!!

To top it off. He's been feeling sick, has been for awhile,

And even though I know this. Somehow, I put my foot in my mouth anyway and still put pressure on him to come soon.

I just feel sooooo frustrated and annoyed that he hasn't been able to visit.

I know he misses & wants to come, but just can't right now.

I'm afraid I'm going to chase him away if I don't stop my constant nagging & whining....

I need to be the g/f NOT the wife.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 9:53pm
Hugs to all.

I have been in this in this LDA for over two yrs. now and it is maddening. We met twice last year and it was wonderful each time. We talk by phone weekly. We met this past November and was even able to spend the night!!! It was awesome to wake up wanting him and he was right there!! We live approx 500 miles apart and met closer to my end. He has family in a state in between and I manufactured a weeked shopping trip w/ the girls from work. It was so nice to act like a "normal" couple since the chances were slim that we'd see anyone we knew. We bonded more due to that I believe and it makes things worse..my heartache for him and he said that it is 'killing' him that we cannot be together. I feel so depressed and miss him sooo much..this is so painful!! At times I want to end it with him due to the pain but of course I cannot let him go...I am so confused. Good to know that I am not alone. Thanx for reading ~HUGS~ Cheetah

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 10:11pm
I am the younger one (by 29 years) but I do get jealous and insecure about some of the women who blatantly flirt with him. But he knows that I will never see any of those guys that are my age. I have a strange kind of siuation because our relationship is kind of an affair but kind of not. Hard to explain, but we don't see anyone else. And he doesn't see his wife like that or anything. But they are still married, jsut separated and have been for a long time. Its strange!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 10:14pm
My MM is out of comission as well. Which is why he can't come see me like usual. And things are getting hectic on his end, so that just compounds the problem.

Have you noticed thatwhen men are sick or injured, all they do is BITCH?!?!?!? He whines like it is his full time job!!

EX

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 10:23pm
It does make things so much harder.

I agree, lol. My baby is a big whiner.

What crybabies, :)!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 6:30am
Longest was one WHOLE year of not seeing each other. You adapt if you really want the relationship.

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