For those of you in long term As...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
For those of you in long term As...
5
Tue, 11-04-2003 - 1:42pm
How have you avoided discovery? How can you do this for so long and not get caught?

I know the number one rule is to not to tell a SOUL! But any other tips?

Thanks,

Charlotte

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-04-2003 - 1:54pm
charlotte, i've been seeing my MM for 3+ years. here are some of things i can say not to do - 1. never write down anything incriminating; 2. try to keep things "normal" at home, if you are married or living with someone; and 3. never go to the same place together twice in a row. if you're single, keep dating and doing what you would normally do, going out with friends, etc.

if you and MM/OM are in a crowd, keep your distance from each other and minimum eye contact because the winking, constant touching, etc. will be noticed by others and suspicions will be aroused.

just be cautious and careful.

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Tue, 11-04-2003 - 2:39pm
#1. for us is this is just between us, we tell no one else. if Others supect, DENY, DENY, DENY... Besides we've been friends for years why would we start something now.

#2. Never write anything down (thats a good one) All e-mails are encrypted, cell phones are pre paid (no bill)

#3. In public, act normal, we are friends for crying out lound.(others are just looking for some good gossip)

#4. Remember that if we play this right, we'll get to wake up everyday together.

#5. Kids and Family come first, our time together is special, but some things cant be pushed aside.

#6. Keep things at home as normal as possiable, that means dont be extra nice to H, because I want to get out of the house for some "ME" time. Or taking bad moods out on H, when plans with MM fall through.

#7. Always have a good reason for being together, JIC someone does see you and asks questions.

#8. Never waste a second that we get to spend together!!

Just a few of mine

dayz

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
Tue, 11-04-2003 - 10:05pm
I've been seeing my MM for 12 yrs.

The main rule we have is don't tell a soul!

The other is to "behave" in public.

We've worked together for 15 yrs so if we're seen somewhere together so what...if anyone were to think anything, they have no proof!

I guess a few times thru the yrs. a few may have wondered, I was even asked once or twice, but I should have been an actress because the look on my face and my response would have won me an Emmy...I made sure they knew their thoughts we're completely absurd!

I think for the most part, our casual and relaxed attitude has done us a lot of good.

If we go out to eat or for a drink, we are very open about it, we don't hide in the corner or freak if someone we know comes in...we go right up and say HI! because we have nothing to hide :-)

If someone was suspecting or questioning, act quick with a response to the accusation or questions, if you fumble for words...you just hung yourself. You have to be a great actress!

Also, we avoid any mutual social events where spouses may have to accompany us. In fact, I've worked with him for 15 yrs and we've never even met each others spouse! I know I could not pass that test!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Tue, 11-04-2003 - 10:29pm
Thanks for the advice ladies

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Tue, 11-04-2003 - 11:53pm

Hi Charlotte,


I've been with MM for 3 and a half years now... can't say that it's long term... but I sure hope to keep it this way.


I haven't really got much more to add than the other ladies... only to stress on the importance of keeping home life as normal as possible.


I also can't say I haven't gotten caught as I did early on... my own fault for being careless... another thing... whatever you do be careful! double check everything you do.


luv and hugs

Sweet
Community Leader My Affair Support
email me at sweetc_@hotmail.com

"Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly"

"Happiness is like a butterfly, if pursued it is always out of our reach. However if we sit quietly, it comes and rests gently on our shoulder"

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My