For those of you who have left your ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2003
For those of you who have left your ...
2
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 11:33am
Marriage.....How did you do it? How did you go about it. Did you plan it out, see a lawyer? Or did you leave after your EMA was discovered? I'm interested in seeing how those of you who have left your Marriages went about doing so.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Wishing

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 11:42am
hey wishing, i'm a proponent of planning for any event, a separation included.

i did leave my marriage and husband many years ago so i could have a different kind of life than that existence, which is what my M had become after 20 years together, 16 of those years married. xH was my first and only man. truthfully, i wanted to see other men, but didn't want the "married woman" title when i found someone.

so i planned, started putting a little money aside in a bank account under my name. looked around for apartments in the area where i lived and worked in case i had to leave the house with the kids if H wouldn't leave first. shopped for a new car in my own name. at that time, i worked for attorneys so i had all kinds of help with separation papers, child support, etc. explore your options first before you make a move. the more information you have, the more in control you'll feel.

just a little bit of planning makes the envitable move easier for you.

good luck whatever you decide,

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 11:43am
I planned it all out before I left my marriage. I had seen the lawyer before - interviewed a couple of them and found what options I had moving forward. It has not been very easy but I have peace of mind know that I did the right thing for me. I am much happier than I was in the marriage and my kids have adjusted to the change in their lives as well. My affair was not discovered or anything - it just went down the toilet after I joking told MM about having a OMM (whic was a lie to get him going). He didn't like that at first and said bye-bye then later he came along and said it wasn't funny. He has been sulking ever since then and hasn't come around. :(:( But he still says wants to keep in touch as he sends me emails now and then - when he is in the mood. ha ha ... He is still with DW and I don't think he is getting out of it anytime soon.