Thoughts and questions
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| Thu, 04-29-2010 - 11:16am |
I have been wondering about something for a while. I often look at couples around me who appear to be happy. And I automatically assume that they are happy. But is that so? What is the "norm" out there for couples? Is it that whoever is miserable will let everyone know? Or do they hide it? Do people admit to themselves and others that their lives are unhappy? I do!! And i feel that something is wrong with me when i look at everyone else and how happy they all are. But is that really the case? Or are people very good at covering things up?
Also - what is the connection between an unhappy relationship and someone having an A? I've seen both - people in happy and unhappy relationships who stray. For me personally it makes it a lot more difficult to see AP and to be nice to him when H and I are being nice to each other and happy.
I guess what i am curious is this - how much of what we perceive about other people's personal lives is the actual reality, and how much of it is just a cover?
Sunshine
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I've often wondered this also.....maybe more so because I am not happy in my marriage and after 2 years with AP know how good it COULD be.
We actually have no idea what the answer to that question is. If you know a person (or couple) REALLY well, you might see a lot of things "wrong", or be able to pick up on body language, etc., that can tell you the truth. But when you know a person (or couple) only superficially, what you see might look "put together" and happy, when the truth is far different.
I actually consider myself in a happy marriage. Yes there are things I would change and my H isn't perfect, none of us are. But I think people think, mostly rightly, that we are happy. The fact that I'm having an affair would most likely come as a huge shock to anyone who knows us.
You know that term about "behind closed doors". We don't know what the truth is behind those doors, no way to tell for sure.
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've
I think most people are like you. I am the opposite! I do not ever hide how i am feeling towards my H in public. If i'm mad at him, i let the whole world see it. It is only recently that i've started to learn that it isn't right to do that.. some things should be discussed at home. And H hates it when i show everyone
Sunshine
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You are right. A lot of things that go on behind close doors in people's lives, we will never know. Sometimes later on you find out things that were actually wrong and you think "what?! No way!" because they hid it so well.
I don't know if it's the people hiding it intentionally or simply overlooking or closing their eyes to things that other people would be bothered by. Also different people are bothered by different things, so sometimes when one might say there isn't anything wrong in this relationship, another person may see lots wrong with it.
Sunshine
.