Thursday blues :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2007
Thursday blues :(
1
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 12:07pm

So glad this week is coming to a close. I have dreaded this week for about 6 months now. Just waiting to see what the fallout was after his "let's fall in love again trip" . Happy to report that neither of my fears happened. He didn't fall in love again and didn't come back ready to divorce either. YAY! Sounded like it was simply a "change of venue". A fight before take off, boring sex once, but still overall a good trip in a foreign country, great scenery, cool people etc....

So...yesterday was as fun as always...Missed him so much! He was a little preoccupied with all the fires at work BUT I know that he was making it all happen because he did not want to lose me. He said several times how hard it was to get away...how busy etc...even said that he knows that had he not made it happen I would have wigged. And I would have. I think it would have been over for me. Not because he was being a jerk, not because I don't adore him. I didn't say any of this. I kept it light and joking teasing him about his "total self sacrifice" ....but...Honestly, I think I would have just given up. I was getting SO tired of being in my own head. Tired of being sad. He said that I would have read so much into it, and flipped out started drama...maybe....but I think I would have just faded away. Maybe he knows in his mind somewhere that he would have had to work 3 times as hard to keep me, or maybe just maybe he really does value what we have.

Hopefully, what he knows with out it being said is that I don't want to get all hot and bothered for someone who is not into me. While we don't ever really talk about feelings...I think he must really like me. I love that he actually thought about what was going to hurt me and how I may react. That makes me SO SO happy. Part of me thinks that he was very proud of himself for doing the right things and I was gushy grateful...I don't think he gets that type of appreciation at home. He's a good Dad and a good husband to her and think he still deals with demands and no appreciation. ... However, I wish he could just say... I was just so excited to see you too (he said it with coaxing). He would have to be right? BUt..that's just who he is. Something I just need to accept.

That said. My friend sent me this...thought it was great.

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
the courage to change the one I can,
and the wisdom to know it's me.

All easy to say on the happy side of Yesterday!! BUt of course have the day after blues. Bittersweet.

Rambling again...Chechi

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2010
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 1:03pm

Sorry you're feeling a little down, but it sounds like you had a great day yesterday, so that's awesome!


I can only speak for myself, but in my A, I am the one who shares fewer emotions.