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| Fri, 06-25-2010 - 11:00am |
It's been awhile, and we have some newbies here, so lets all share our stories so everyone will better get to know everyone else.
I get so sick of telling my story - if it weren't dangerous I'd have a copy in "word" to re-post everytime we have a roll call but here goes (short version).
I've been married many years to a man I met in high school and we have grown children and grandchildren. I met my OM online on a social message board. A mutual cyber friend introduced us because she knew he didn't live that far from me (about 35 min. - REALLY close in the cyberworld) and she knew we would hit it off. We met for real after e-mailing and flirting on the message board for awhile, and now, here it is, 11 years later! (Actually 11 1/2) My OM is single. I have many conflicts about that, from hoping that I am NOT getting in his way of finding a real relationship, to feeling dread at the thought that he will find one someday - much as I hope he will! He is not my first affair, although I had my first at 15 years of marriage. I came to MAS about 3 or 4 years ago (really can't remember) and have been an off and on again poster. When I realized in March that there hadn't been a CL here for months, and that the board was suffering from that lack, I decided to step up and apply for the position myself.
So, please share your story here and let us get to know you!

You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

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Hi Everyone,
36 yo MW who just started an A with 44 yo MM about 3 wks ago.
43 yrs man here, going for 8 yrs, mostly on and off due to long distance. We are both M with two kids each. My AP and I attended the same college back then, but new each other from a distance. After college, we both went our ways, and only to be reunited by a work conference we attended together. The last day of the conference, a group of us went dancing at a local club near our hotel. I asked her to dance with me, and the rest is history...not to mention that we ended up in bed together the same night!
This is my first A, and mostly EA because we don't get to see each other as we would love to. In fact we haven't seen each other for almost two years now, which is very hard, and tempting for both of us. So don't be surprised if within few days I will report here that I have a new AP through Ashley Madison-I hear that few people here have a good experience with the site, LOL!
As for W, I wish I had something bad to say about her and our marriage. I really can't and don't know where my cheating ways come from, surface to say that I have accepted it and willing to live and die with that guilty
Quick version for me too...
MW having an A with MM. Been almost 4 years. We met on a website and hit it off immediately. He lives in my city and we see each other usually once a week and talk once a day if even for a few minutes. We are both cake-eaters. I have been married 15 years to a great guy, and have kids he is married 10 years and has young kids.
This is not my first affair, but definitely the longest. I could do just this with him indefinitely but am always amazed that he hangs on. The first 6 months of our A were tumultuous as most are then we settled into a groove. We have been together through lots of family issues...and amazingly have hung on. He seems to have a lot more drama in his life than I do. His marriage has been very shaky this year. She is in the mid-life crisis stage with preschoolers and he says they could go either way...stay married or break-up. I think he does not want to break-up...It would break his heart to not see the kids everyday. He would see it as a great failure. They started MC in April and I have been a mess about it. Guilt, uncertainty etc... i don't want things to change, he says the aren't but I know better.
People would be FLOORED to know that I was having an A. From the outside everything looks great. Not completely sure why I do it myself, except that I have a very strong libido and H does not. AP says the same of his W. Claims to have very little sex or connection...His W is very beautiful and makes great arm candy but a bit spoiled and fragile...or so I'm told. I think I am his rock but it drives me crazy sometimes because I feel like I can't count on him like he does me.
Anyway...that's where I am. I adore my AP and hope that he feels the same. We've had a good thing going.
I am a 39 yo MW with 2 children in an A with 48 yo MM...we met over a year ago on Ashley Madison not really knowing what to expect as we were both new to this-I was moreso just curious at the time because nobody would ever believe I would do something like this (as most of us I'm sure). Long story short we fell in love and felt as if we were soulmates...saw each other almost every day and it was a very intense relationship..thoughts of even being with each other some day. We struggled at times because he is a religious man and he did have some guilt at times. My husband ended up finding out and it changed everything...I wrote his wife a letter telling her because I didn't think it was fair that I was in so much pain (very selfish on my part I know). I continued to try to contact him because I didn't want it to end. My H and I had started counseling as we still struggle to this day. At the end of the year last year I saw him at the mall and we spoke..he had a card for me and we started seeing each other for coffee occasionally (as friends even though I wanted much more). Well, it became much more however he was pretty adament about it being very different this time in that we couldn't have the R we had last year...see each other much less and it needed to be much more casual. For the past several months I have been unhappy with this as I need more and it hasn't been pleasant feeling like FWB...however he said it wasn't like that and that he has deep feelings for me but that he just couldn't give more. This week I went into one of my down modes and unfortunately brought it up to him...huge mistake! Here is my post from another thread:
discussion title: The Bi-Weekly Time to End it Post
emoticon:
message #: 57733.12 in response to 57733.11
replies: 12
from: tnsnew
to: ALL
date: 8:13 am
Hi..
Well, my fear has come true and I am devastated. It's all my fault for bringing up all of these emotions I have been feeling. I think I pressured him to the point of making this decision. He has said that the guilt and the desire to do the right thing has become more powerful than the pain our relationship has had...he says he doesn't want to put us through this again. What am I to do? I am a mess and hy H has already asked what's wrong and if I want to talk about it. Should I try to convince him to stay in the relationship?...I'm sure not! I have a feeling he won't come back ever either because he says he will never hurt me again like this and he will will fight the desire to see me with a passing thought for as long as he has to--I guess I truly believe him this time.
I guess I need to move over to EAS...unless being my pitiful self anybody has advice how I can keep the relationship alive :( :( :(
Hello everyone,
I am a MW in an EA and PA with a MM. It's my fist A. We met a year ago, but I never paid any attention to him until he contacted me on FB 4 months ago. We spent hours chatting on fb and in less than a month the R became P. Since then it's been an emotional roller coaster for me even that I don't think that I am in love with him. However, he believes that he loves me a lot. I am starting to believe him. Neither of us have
Well, I am kind of late getting to this discussion but wanted to join in too:-)
I am a 37yo MW involved with a 41yo SM. This A started quite by accident when I met him on a business trip. We began talking and texting and about 3 months later met up for a long weekend when I went on another business trip.
We have not seen each other since then, 5 months ago, although we still talk and text. I felt like things were kind of dying between us...I have feelings for him...not in love with him...but love how it all makes me feel and we do get along really well...talk about everyday stuff as well as sexual stuff:-) His feelings for me...I have no idea...he doesn't talk feelings as he went through a horrible divorce. I figure there must be something there...just don't know what.
So, with me feeling like the R was dying and no longer getting the high from it that I have begun to crave...I turned to AM. After hundreds of emails I connected with a guy and we have been chatting almost every night, texting, emailing and webcamming (is that even a word..LOL).
He is a MM, 39yo, lives about 5 hours away. Neither one of us wants to change the home situation, just have fun...so we'll see. I
sw with a mm ap, on and off for almost 3 years...i guess they say im a lucky one in an a with this guy...i've never had to shell out money or anything that could be a tangible detriment to me from the time we met and he takes care of my ds very well from the day he met ds...he's met my family members and friends and has given them as much respect and love as i could want from anyone i've ever dated...i'm spoiled rotten by him and have been knows to throw a tantrum or two if i don't get what i want...we've broken up about 3 or 4 times...first time a month, second for 3 months, third for 6 months..may have a been a week or two in between there...so we've lost almost a year...but i have been spoiled rotten by him as i've said...he's older than i am,
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
I was a M lady when I got together with AP/BF...just a few more months and we would have been celebrating our 25th! AP is M too, almost as long I was actually. This was not my first A, although it was the first where I lost my heart. I had a revenge A at the seven year mark of my M. I did it because I felt ignored and under appreciated as a SAHM, so I went out and had the A with the worst person I could think of...who just happened to be H's boss. As has become a pattern with me, I made sure that I got caught...and after a lot of drama, H forgave me and we went on. I had another A about seven more years after this, but this time I think it was purely a hormonal thing...H and I were rarely intimate with each other. I'm somewhat ashamed to admit that I just wasn't sexually attracted to my H, AT ALL...isn't that a terrible thing? I loved him very much, but he just didn't do it for me that way. I felt horribly guilty about it, but wasn't willing to do anything to try and change it. I even tried to convince myself that it didn't even really matter! I did think that I would never ever have another A, and we strove towards continuing to build a happy marriage together. We were making the most money we've ever made, we were doing things together...left, right and center. Life was pretty darned good all around.
I've known AP for about 20 years, as an acquaintance (we used to play slowpitch together once upon a time). H and I used to discuss AP on many occasions because neither of us could figure out why nobody ever saw him hang out with his W...anywhere, ever. I had never looked twice at him back then, except for that one oddity that we used to wonder about.
So, I had started hanging out at the pub with my H more, and spent a fair amount of time playing pool with AP. Then one night it happened. Out of the blue he made a pass at me! I kind of let it slide that night, tried to laugh it off, but the next night the gloves came off and I made it clear that I wasn't averse to the "idea". We had a pretty intense conversation that night, spent hours telling each other anything and everything, and finding out how many things we had in common. It wasn't too much longer before we became lovers and my whole world changed.
It became too much for me and so I did what I usually do, I made sure that I got caught. And this time, instead of begging for forgiveness...I told my H that I was in love with AP and that I couldn't change it. He moved out very soon afterwards. Our divorce was actually final in January of this year. MM remains married and I imagine will remain so...as much I wish it was different. I think that even though he loves me, he is probably staying for financial reasons...and who am I to say that it's wrong, when so many people are living the same life right now?
So, that's me...the rollercoaster is a chugging along, and I remain on it :0)
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