Time again for roll call!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Time again for roll call!
37
Fri, 06-25-2010 - 11:00am

It's been awhile, and we have some newbies here, so lets all share our stories so everyone will better get to know everyone else.

I get so sick of telling my story - if it weren't dangerous I'd have a copy in "word" to re-post everytime we have a roll call but here goes (short version).

I've been married many years to a man I met in high school and we have grown children and grandchildren. I met my OM online on a social message board. A mutual cyber friend introduced us because she knew he didn't live that far from me (about 35 min. - REALLY close in the cyberworld) and she knew we would hit it off. We met for real after e-mailing and flirting on the message board for awhile, and now, here it is, 11 years later! (Actually 11 1/2) My OM is single. I have many conflicts about that, from hoping that I am NOT getting in his way of finding a real relationship, to feeling dread at the thought that he will find one someday - much as I hope he will! He is not my first affair, although I had my first at 15 years of marriage. I came to MAS about 3 or 4 years ago (really can't remember) and have been an off and on again poster. When I realized in March that there hadn't been a CL here for months, and that the board was suffering from that lack, I decided to step up and apply for the position myself.

So, please share your story here and let us get to know you!

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2010
Tue, 06-29-2010 - 10:50pm

Chechi,

Ditto, people would be shocked to death to know that I was having an A. Just like you from the outside everything looks great.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2007
Tue, 06-29-2010 - 11:01pm
Been lurking for over 3 years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Wed, 06-30-2010 - 7:59am
I love reading all your stories, and I have to say - Facebook is evil!!! LOL! I saw Facebook mentioned so many times as the place it all began... It seems to have overtaken the workplace as the main "starter" of A's. The thing is, it does hook up people with their old boyfriends/girlfriends, and there's already history and feelings there. Before social networking sites, you had to wait for HS reunions, and unless your old b/f was in your class (I never went out with someone in my class - there was one 3 years ahead, one one year behind, and my H was one year ahead) those didn't help either.

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2010
Wed, 06-30-2010 - 11:52am

Haven't posted in a while, but wanted to share my story as well.

I'm a MW, in an A with a SM. Love my H dearly but have had issues throughout our relationship. Been together for 6 years, married for 1 year now. Fell in love with someone else while we were dating but never followed through... always stayed with him because I thought my life would be better with him. He never found out, he proposed, and we got married. Cheated on him 6 months in while on a work trip, freaked out, but stayed in touch with that guy (H never found out) and when that ended, quickly found myself in another A with current guy for the last 2 months. Husband still has no idea this is going on though I've expressed to him that I think there's something lacking in our marriage and we should work on it together.

Oh god, what a rollercoaster. I've been in IC, we've been in MC. I love my H so much but there's a huge part of me that is recognizing I'm not getting the intimacy I need to make a marriage work. H is slow to respond to my needs, if he does at all, which I guess I'm using as an excuse to justify the A.

I don't know what to do. H is starting to open up a little more but I'm terrified it's too little too late. AP had a gf, but broke up with her, and really wants to start a relationship - a real relationship - with me. I do love my H, I really and truly do, but I'm terrified that we just aren't right for one another. If I stay and work on my M, I know he's only going to change so much. Is that ever going to be enough for me? Or will I find myself in yet another A down the road - this time when we're older, have kids, and the stakes are higher?

It's truly a roller coaster and my emotions and decisions swing all over the place. Hugs and strength to all - this isn't easy stuff!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2010
Wed, 06-30-2010 - 4:51pm

I am a MW involved with a SM for a little over a year.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2010
Wed, 06-30-2010 - 6:05pm
True to that lexion...just the other day I read how divorce lawyers are using facebook as evidence in divorce cases. I recently added my AP (actually not AP per say because we both are realizing that the long distance is not working!)to my fb friends' list, and so far we are being careful
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2009
Wed, 06-30-2010 - 7:07pm
I am a MW in a PA with a MM. I've been married 20 yrs., he's been married about 23 years. We met 10 years ago when I was on a trip with a girlfriend. I began with flirty emails first, then a few months later we met turning into a PA. We see each other only once a year if we are lucky. He calls me whenever he thinks of me, which I do not think is often enough! He never emails me, usually I am the one emailing him and then he returns the email with a phone call. I believe both of us are in this PA because we are "bored" in our marriages, nevertheless we are not looking to end our marriages. When we see each other it is always me who is flying to see him, he lives about 900 miles away. He has said he wants to come and see me but I usually stall him, I am afraid to get caught if he comes to where I live. By the way I am not allowing myself to have feelings for him mainly because it is something that he has made clear he does not want. How convenient for him right?

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