Told AP
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Told AP
| Tue, 11-09-2010 - 4:28pm |
So I had a chance to tell AP today about asking H for a D. I was curious as to how he would respond and if it would change thigs between us.
| Tue, 11-09-2010 - 4:28pm |
So I had a chance to tell AP today about asking H for a D. I was curious as to how he would respond and if it would change thigs between us.
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Glad he took it well :).
anotherseyes
Sounds good, like neither one of you is freaking out and feeling pressured.
I am glad to hear that he took it well and didn't back away or anything.
I have been collecting information at thispoint, doing research. Some of it I presented to H and he flat out refuses to hear about it. He does not want a D period. He said it will be all on me. He wants to workit out, that I owe him that. I don't, I am done. Maybe that makes me a horrible person, but I have thought a lot about this and I just need to get out. My goal is to be out by the Summer. We will have to put our house on the market or one buy the other out. He is going to be very uncooperative,but I just can't stay. It makes me wnat out even more. Thanks for asking.
I did the same thing this weekend. I know he knew I'd been wanting to leave my M, but I told him this weekend that I am officially moving out. He seemed OK about it that night, but I sorta feel like he's pulling away a bit, even though I'm not leaving my H for AP. It could be just me being paranoid, because he has his son this week, and he's always a little less chatty when he has his boy (as expected). Even though I'm not leaving my M for him, I would still very much like to keep things up with him- he's the one that, like you, made me realize that I am in fact capable of having a good relationship where I feel special and important to the other person. And he has given me that last bit of courage I needed to actually leave. H was always putting me down, I assume in an effort to keep me under his thumb, and AP made me realize that I'm not the frumpy, unsexy,
I guess we'll beon this journey together then. H is very angry,but is starting to digest things. I think I am ready to move forward with things more quickly because I had already made the decision in my mind to end things. H knew there were issues, but didn'tthink it would come to this. Unlikeyou I can't justpickup and leave becuase of the kids. H could file on desertion or abandoment if I did and it could cause problems later whenwe are deciding custody. Right now we have to put together a separatrion agreement and have it signed and notarized, then I can go or he can go. We have to be apart 1 yr before divorce is final.
Ihave not spoken with a lawyer. I am trying to go the mediator route as it is much less expensive and Ihave several friends that didthis. He is starting to accept the idea, but it has been a
Thanks for the tip. I have a boiler plate separation agreement I am using from a friend and that is a good idea to run it by a lawyer for loopholes. I am just worried about leaving before I have something in place because H couold get nasty and say I deserted or whatever. It's good to know that doesn't much affect support or custiody in VA. I will have to see if it is the same in MD.
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