Told him we can't be friends

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2008
Told him we can't be friends
5
Mon, 10-19-2009 - 4:53pm

Am I wrong?? We've been good for a few weeks, just being friends/co-workers. Then bam! He loses his mind again and we fooled around (no touching but other stuff) on Saturday. He went right into defensive mode, this can't happn, I'm sorry, don't be mad at me. The whole time I just kept saying I'm not mad, it's fine, don't worry about it. I told him we can't be just friends, it will never work he thinks I'm crazy. We have to behave we just can't talk sexual or anything to each other because it leads to other stuff but how long will that last??


We had lunch today, he was very distant claiming he has a lot going on right now. I told him yeah me too and I asked him define behaving and he sai you can still tell me you want me but I will no longer respond. I won't make comments to you anymore etc. So I said to him so were' you going to say something to me or you were just going to ignoring me everytime I commented to you. He just shrugged. I had such a hard time driving back to work with him, I was fighting back tears and he just kept saying why aren't you talking to me and I finally threw up my hands and said what do you want me to say?


Everything was going so well, we were happy. I told him at lunch we are not friends and never will be. We are co-workers only, he got all upset and said so what you're not going to talk to me anymore so I said no we will talk because as co-workers we need to but that's it. He said I was making this too difficult and I said not for me and I walked away from him and ignored him the rest of the afternoon. I got an e-mail from him before I left that said I don't why you're so upset you know nothing can happen between us. I ignored that too.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2008
Mon, 10-19-2009 - 8:51pm
Sorry I am a bit confused. Why cannot you be friend(platonic)?
What was/is the relationship?
xvra
Hornycomments.com for myspace adult comments
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2008
Mon, 10-19-2009 - 9:19pm
We are co-workers (both married me 10 years, he 5 months)who have been having an affair for almost a year. Have slept together a few times but agreed to keep things non physical (a few times) usually this agreement comes up after we fool around to some extent and his guilt switch gets flipped. I always tell him I'm fine with that (the physical isn't that great, not that I tell him that) but always turns it into that I'm mad at him and he gets overly paranoid that we won't be friends anymore.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2009
Mon, 10-19-2009 - 10:01pm

Im so sorry he did this to you again Dreamz. You were doing so well and he dragged you back in again.

I wonder how long you can keep letting him pull your strings before you finally have enough. You will end up hating this man and you may not be able to function in your job. He is taking up too much of your head space and that can only mean you are not able to be at peace anytime.

IMO, keep those silly comments and emails on your desktop or somewhere close to remind you why you wanted to get away in the first place. He is selfish, stingy and a tantrum chucker. You know you do not need him or his crap. The feel good you get from him is so short lived these days, it doesnt even rate anymore.

Please try to stay LC this time. No more joking or playing or flirting. He is only looking to give himself what he needs and does not give a toss about you. He is manipulating you to get his ego strokes and when his guilt switch flips, you are left in the dust again. Regain your sanity and remember ALL the times, not just the very few good ones.

Please take care of yourself and tell him to get lost!

SB

Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2008
Tue, 10-20-2009 - 6:54am

SB,


Thank you so much again for your wise words!! You truly are awesome and a god send.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2008
Tue, 10-20-2009 - 4:06pm
Thanks for the clarification. His "guilt" switch struck me as immature and lack of boldness. IMO you are right and it should be kept as just co-workers. I,myself have had relations with co-workers. Usually,a one time thing and we went back to being co-workers.
Good luck!
xvra
Hornycomments.com for myspace adult comments