Told MM How I Feel - His Response...
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| Mon, 04-19-2004 - 7:20pm |
Ok, those that replied to my earlier post said they would be flatteredd or something along those lines if they received a complimentarty email... So I sent it late on Friday nite. This is what I sent.. and PLEASE forget about the health issue I tell him about. This post is not about that. Thx. His response is at the bottom- and I'm sorry this is long
MY EMAIL:
Thanks for today- I want to share something with you with the request
that you 1) PLEASE keep this private and 2) do not run a thousand miles
away from me. I ask nothing from you and this is NOT intended to be
heavy or burdensome to you. If anything, it is therapeutic for me.
However, none of my sports friends know about this. So mums the word-
OK? Promise? Thank you.
I was diagnosed with cancer a little over a yr ago have been through
some medical stuff (that I won't bore you with) since then. So the May
6th date surgery is for me. (I am sick - not my daughter. Sorry for the lie)
Work has kept me pre-occupied- the busier I am the less I think about
this. If I don't go on my biz trip, that will force me to tell others
of my health and I can't bring myself to do this, not yet. Seems
like the walls are closing in on me right now and I need to keep things
organized. Kids are pretty much in the dark as they are too young to
understand about things like this- for them life needs to be about
school, hockey, gymnastics, friends, etc. nothing more. I won't concern
them, at least not yet. This has also played havoc on my marriage; he
blames me for getting sick and creating problems for him. ( won't bore
you with that either). It creates a closed heart and again work
becomes my safe haven. I have always been ambitious and driven;
working a lot is the perfect disguise.
One day I prayed to God to show me something in life that was genuine
and real. Make me see that the cup was half full not half empty......
And guess what?
I got an email from you- about hockey of course, but it lead into having
innocent fun and crazy emails . Little by little I got to know you-
a fresh of breath air. You place no pressure or expectations on me-
you are tender, sweet, kind, and funny. You're adorable. And since
you have (had) no idea that I'm sick you don't treat me like a 'problem'
or bad person. I can be 'me' to a certain extent with you. You fill a
void for me and I unexpectedly found that I could still feel 'something'
in my otherwise numb heart. I thank you for this. Sometimes you seem
to be the one thing that makes sense in my life. (now again, relax....
don't get all weird on me here)
So ........why are you different? Because you are 'safe' and I can
handle that. You are easy to be with- it's that simple. I feel
comfortable around you and yes, I tell you things because it feels
right.
You are wonderful. I hope you hear that every day at home.
Again, I am not asking anything of you - I just needed to cut through
everything and let you know that you're special to me. I'm almost 40
and I don't think like a school girl or play games. Life's too
precious to not let the people you care about know how you feel.
It's late and I am tired. And just so you know, although I feel we are
on a level where you'll be ok with all I have said.... I hesitated to
hit the send button,,,,,,,
Get back to work now.
OK- THIS IS HIS RESPONSE: (the bar reference is where we were at that day)
So,
Does this mean we party tonight or tomorrow or both?
You're supposed to be smiling.....
By the way as we were leaving the bar yesterday, the roady (the guy
setting up the stage) asked if we were coming back for the country jam.
I told we couldn't make but to ask the waitress for a dance during the
show.
Do you think he did?
**************************************************************
What is going on here? Oh and by the way, we have been emailing today. So I guess he's not blowing me off? But I still don't get his response above.
Help.

first off, sorry to hear about your illness (and I know this is not about that issue, but still felt compelled to give you my best and prayers).
Second --- What did he mean by that "ask the waitress for a dance" comment? At first glance it seems to me that he is telling you something.. but having to read all your posts and your story, I can't say that for sure. It sure does seem from out in left field! I hope someone else can answer for you. That's a weird one. Hang in there!
We emailed today. We mention nothing of this whole thing which is fine. He may not know what to say.
Anyhow, today in an email I told him I was takng my 8 yr old to DC on a biz trip that I had half -jokingly invited him on a week ago( his corp hdqtrs is in DC). In those week-old emails he said he would be interested in going and then a few emails later he made some comment that "it's all good entertainment". So I took this to mean he was only kidding, and assumed I WAS serious and thus he pulled back. OK- so today after I tell him since he can't make it, I am taking my son. He replies with: "I was actually looking into going to DC, but take your son instead.
I'll go some other time."
So- WAS HE SERIOUS ABOUT JOINING ME IN THE FIRST PLACE? we barely kiss when we are together. or is this a safe thing to say since I already said I was taking my son?
I don't know your story at all, but I think your OM really likes you. His response to your email was clumsy, but I think sometimes certain kinds of men just don't know what to say when women articulate their feelings. It doesn't mean he didn't understand or absorb what you said. His goofy email was just his way of saying “okay…I hear you…can we switch to a way of talking that DOESN’T freak me out, now?” Deep talk just freaks some men out. My OM is like that. If I send him a sentimental email (I try not to! Sometimes I just HAVE to!) He will usually not even reply at all. Then two weeks later, he’ll make some sort of subtle reference to some little point I made in the email, and I’ll know it DID sink in.
Just like women, men like to have nice things said about them. I think men, even more so than us, get into affairs to have their egos stroked a little bit. If he likes you, and I think he does, you can assume he appreciated your sweet words. I think the thing he said about party now or party later is probably code for, “ok, you said your heavy thing, I heard it, and I’m not going anywhere.” That’s good, isn’t it? It would have been nicer if he said something eloquent in return, but my hunch is that you’re not going to get that with this hockey guy. My OM (also a hockey guy) and I have been seeing each other seven months. He calls me every day. Yesterday, in an email after coming back from a vacation, he wrote “missed ya”. Not even “missed you”. Missed “YA”. This is the most “romantic” thing this man, who I have been sleeping with for six months, has ever said to me. I figure if I give him another seven years or so I might get a “luv ya”. LOL. But I am 100% sure he DOES love me. It’s frustrating that he is so reluctant to say so, but I am learning to get used to interpreting his gestures instead. He is not a cuddly guy either. The other day in the car, he held my hand for about thirty seconds. He’s never done that. I couldn’t breathe I was so surprised! But I was totally careful to pretend not to notice his BIG GESTURE. Which to him, I’m sure was as hard as an expression of undying devotion! Men can be such goofs. But you know in your heart when you have a good one. My gut feeling is that your OM makes you happy too and that he really did look into going on that trip. You probably need to be a bit sparing with the hearts-and-flowers talk with this guy. Once in a while is ok. But I don’t think you have anything to worry about, here. Good luck!!