Told my best friend...
Find a Conversation
|Sun, 09-02-2012 - 4:01am|
I have kept my A hidden from every soul in my life, last night I had to come clean to my best friend in my desperate need for him to cover up where i was on Friday night. We are very close, talk daily and have been best of friends for over 20 years, we truly have each others best interests at heart, always have and always will, we have endured a lot together, there is a long history, and we have never betrayed or hurt one another throughout our friendship.
We share everything with each other and i trust him dearly, but refrained from telling him anything out of pure fear that he may share this secret with his partner, his partner is wonderful but is very black and white - there are no shades of grey for him. My best friend understood my concern however expressed that he is closer to me than what he is with his partner, and would not put me at risk under any circumstance. I feel the same bond with him, we have a closer than close sibling relationship.
He initially cried when i confessed, then he was angry with me for having lied to him for so long (which i understand) then this transpired to feelings of compassion and understanding. He revealed that his mother confided in him with a similar story when he was a young adult, and he never told a soul. I was shocked when he shared this with me, he did with the intent to put my mind at ease. He has given me his word that he would take it to his grave, and will be there for me to support me through whatever path I choose.
I feel a sense of freedom for having told someone after having kept this hidden for almost four years now, it feels relieving in a way. However, i still feel a little nervous that my secret life is out and that there is a person in my life that knows about it now.
I'm wondering whether it was a wise decision or whether i have put myself at a higher risk. Can anyone share their experience? How wrong could this turn out? I don't want to be discovered nor do i want to lose my friendship over this.