Tomorrow is the day....
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| Sun, 08-24-2003 - 6:56pm |
Of course, since I over-analyze everything, now I am wondering if the magic is wearing off? Did I push him into the back of my mind so far that I have ended up pushing him away from me altogether? I saw him last week in a meeting, we did get to slip away for a few minutes alone to steal a kiss or two. At first, I felt a little shy and distant, but then I warmed up to him. I know he sensed it. He even asked me if I was ok. Also, this distance I was feeling could have been due to the fact that he had to leave early b/c he had plans with W. I got to hear all of the "we" BS that I am so fond of :( That "we" stuff usually makes me feel a little distant too. I mean, I know he is M, I just really don't want to hear about it.
Does any of this make sense to anyone? I just never felt quite this way before. Maybe it is my turn to pull back, who knows??
Words of encouragement are greatly appreciated!
Many hugs
RH

Don't know if I'm going to be able to say anything that's going to help you in any way... I think it's fair enough to want to wait for a bit more time to be able to spend with MM rather than grab those spare moments here and there... MM has done this to me... we;ve had times when we could have met for an hour or so... but he's like let's just wait until we have at least and afternoon and I think in many ways... it's so much better.
I can understand why you may have felt a little distant... with him rushing off to meet up with his wife. While MM and I talk about our spouses and family all the time and it really doesn't bother me what he does with them... if I was to meet up with him and he was rushing to get to her... I'd probably feel a little out of it too.
You have just gone through quite a long period without much contact and I think you are probably in the mode where you are thinking this through... and I think that's perfectly normal with how you are feeling... working through emotions and despite the break... wanting a little space to deal with it.
I said I probably couldn't help much and I doubt that I have... but just know that I'm here for you.
luv and hugs
Sweet
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
Your message did made me feel better about things. I just needed to know that what I was feeling somehow made sense to someone other than me and that I was not going crazy. I am hoping that when I see him tomorrow, all will be well. It is just that sometimes when we go w/o contact for an extended period of time, I start wondering if this is really worth the pain and suffering. Of course when I see his face or hear his voice, I know that it is. Thanks again
Hugs to you
RH