Tonight is a hard night!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
Tonight is a hard night!
3
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 9:33pm
SO, I have been in the affair for three months. I know, short lived. I knew it was coming to an end. I'd wished there had been more times. Tonight I feel like crying. In fact, that's what I have been doing. I never thought I would ever be in this position. Not that i don't mind it, it's just now I have to say good-bye to something great! I've known this OM for about three years now. And I know I will never see him again. Sometimes I wonder why me. Something good happens and now it is over. Just like that! Tomorrow is going to be dreadful. It is the last day I get to see him. I leave for a weekend trip on Friday. He leaves to move across country and with his wife on Saturday. Today he tells me " I wish I could be here to be a support for you". That was in reference to some other crap going on. I feel like the support he has been, the friend he has been...all gone. Was it worth it? Yes, even through all this pain.

I keep asking myself so many questions. Why won't he leave his wife? Was it just sex? Blah Blah, I know that won't get me anywhere. There's a million reasons why we do what we do. Doubting the whole experience just takes away what we had. I know he had troubles, I know he had some deep feelings enough to even consider having an affair with me. I know that when he leaves, he will miss me too. I know he will think of me when he is alone. We are so compatible that it's frustrating. It is the first time I have been with someone that was compatible. And now it is over.

So now, I have told myself, it is OK to cry, it is the best way to let it all out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 1:34pm
It is absolutely okay to cry. It will make you feel a little bit better, I believe. The end of a relationship is like a death...I don't think there are much worse feelings in the world than losing someone you love. Just remember the good things that happened, because to love hard is to risk having your heart broken, but wasn't the ride great?

You'll be in my thoughts. ((((HUGS))))

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 4:45pm
It's so trite but true... tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Try and remember the good times, honey. We've all been there at one time or another, so we really feel your pain too. Hang in there. (((hugs)))
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 6:19pm
Kymberann, I am sorry you have to end it so soon. Maybe it was not meant to be. Just let it go. Do the regular grieving thing and move on. I believe you will find somebody else for yourself.