This is too freaky

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
This is too freaky
7
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 7:04pm
I wrote a thread earlier that said I was so sad for some reason and didn't know why - that I felt empty and sad. I definately am not like this. That I didn't think it was simply because I didn't hear from MM today, that it was something more.

Less than 30 minutes ago, I received an email from MM, he said he was sorry he didn't get a chance to contact me today, just trying to focus on getting the project out by 6 today. He said his W (who is clingy and demanding beyond words) called him at 10 and said she was driving downtown so he could take her out to lunch. Now, I'm assuming she knew of this project and deadline, but chose to "tell him" they were going to lunch together. He said he was really sorry, but just couldn't get away for lunch. She hung up on him, then proceeded to call back to fight.......calling a total of 14 times before he told her he had to shut off the phone and focus on the project. Can you even believe this woman?

In his email he also said, "I'm so down right now, I have to go home, but I don't want to...even to see my baby and that makes me so sick. I wish I could just sit with you somewhere and talk, I always feel so good after we meet. If you can, if you are free, can we chat on line tonight, I miss you."

Now after four months, I don't think we are picking up each other's vibes, but it seems a little too odd.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 7:41pm
Wow! That is weird! I am more moved that MM is turning to you for his primary source of support. That really says something about your relationship and how highly he regards your friendship. I hope that you chat with him tonight! :)

Circe

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 9:19pm
Hey weird in a really nice way! Ok his W sounds like a psycho! Isn't it comforting to know he'd rather be with you to ease his stress. I am sure you are feelign tons better (I HOpe)!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 11:59pm
Well he asked for me to be on IM last night because he was upset. I logged on at 10 which is the earliest he can get on line, but he never showed up. Sent him an OLM saying Hi and to IM me when he got on. At 1:30, I logged off. Ok fine, his wife was still fighting with him and he couldn't use the computer. So I sent him a message I would be on tonight if he wanted to talk since he didn't make it on last night. Well, it's midnight, I have been on line for three hours......no MM. This really angers me. He wants to chat because he's upset, then leave me hanging?? He can't take the time to say hi sorry I couldn't get on line last night and I will or will not be on line tonight?

I really don't like this. Have the same thing in my marriage, "I'll be there, then H never shows up."

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Sun, 05-23-2004 - 12:31pm
Sweet

I feel angry after just reading your last post. I am sure he could have found five minutes to log on in the last two days to just let you know what's going on and that he wouldn't be able to talk. There is just no excuse to leave you hanging like this. It is incredibly rude!

My MM has left me hanging with NC when I expected a quick call from him for at most a full day, and I make sure he knows I am angry and feel that it is uncalled for. Wife or no wife, there's always time to get away at some point during the day if they really want to and leave the quickest of messages that just says, "sorry, tied up, thinking of you" by email, text msg, or voice mail. I'm sure the W isn't tied to their hip ALL day. There's always laundry, cleaning, shopping, yardwork, calling family, cooking, showering and other bathroom time, etc. to occupy her time, isn't there? I know I'm busier than heck and couldn't always know what my H is up to at every moment of the day if I had one....

Sorry for ranting, I guess this hits a nerve :). Sorry he's being inconsiderate of you, I know it sucks.

Brin

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Sun, 05-23-2004 - 12:42pm
brin

I have often felt that same way. There HAS to be 5 min here or there where he could call or drop an email! One time I was coming home from the office and he was coming in the other direction (stopped at a red light) and he was just looking out the window not on the phone, and no one else in the car. Now I had called him that morning and left a vm to call me and there he was....not calling when he appeared to have the time! It dawned on me though when I had a particularly busy week for me that even though he was obviously idle, I am sure he had a lot of other things on his mind. The man goes practically 24/7 and I am sure he has a lot more things on his mind then to call his oversexed gf when he probably needed to hash out some co. problem in his head during a rare idle moment!

So I guess I am adjusting to my mm's harried life and becoming more understanding. I don't know about anyone elses' mm just mine but I thought that I would add another aspect to the situation to think about

Hope everyone is having a good weekend.... June 1 mm goes away for 2 weeks... not much longer :(

dd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2004
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 8:26am
Oh I'm cracking up and pissed at the same time.... Are we dating the same MM? Mine is infamous for saying, "Hang on I'll call you right back!" and I wait and wait and wait. I realize with his work that he gets tons of calls, but heck 2 second call back to say, "I'm really busy today. I'll have to call you on the way home." That would work.

But I constantly rationalize my MM in my head. "I know he's busy. He has things that come up in the middle of the day." Crap if my DH says these things to me I JUST DON'T CARE! That's where I over react and analize the relationship too much. It's good sometimes to take it for what it is, and EMA.

That's where I think he can draw the line and I can't, don't, or choose not to. I know he cares deeply for me, but sometimes that's when I jump on that roller coaster of emotions emotions and he won't....

jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 9:05am
Update on this situation. And now I feel like a complete idiot :(. I turn my cell phone off on the weekends, only turning it on when I go out. When I turned it on Monday morning, there was a brief message from MM that he left Sunday around 1 p.m. It was brief, but explained why he wasn't on line. "Hi, I'm running out to get gas for the lawnmower and wanted to call you to let you know why I wasn't on line. I'm really sorry if I left you sitting, waiting. My W was in the usual mood, and everytime I went near the computer, she wanted to know what I was doing or would tell me if you have free time to play on the computer, you need to find something to do around here. I'm really sorry, I would have loved talking with you. Just wanted to let you know why I wasn't around. Can you have lunch with me this week....I miss your smile. Have a wonderful weekend. Bye."

Someone smack me! I should have known the way his W is, this was the problem. Next time I need to take a deep breath before I get angry. SO glad I didn't get angry, and email something I would regret.

I'm such a dope sometimes!