Top of the roller coaster anyone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Top of the roller coaster anyone?
5
Thu, 08-21-2008 - 6:26pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2008
Sat, 08-23-2008 - 9:31am

I don't know why you deleted your post. I am "assuming" that some troll came along and hijacked your thread.

I think there needs to be more positive posts on this board. This is a support group. People need to know that there are highs and lows. Usually, most of the posts I read are lows.

I have been on a high with my AP for the whole month. This is his birthday month, so he may just be on his best behavior just to see what he will get ;-) I have been trying to focus on the good and not let my mind make up crazy scenarios when I can't talk to him or I call and his cell goes to voicemail (I am M and he is S, so my mind always assumes that he is out on a date).

These relationships are hard enough and are not worth the effort and emotional toll unless both parties are getting something positive our of the relationship.

My AP and I usually see each other intimately every 2 weeks and publicly about every week. We are very close friends and are in the same social circles. We talk almost everyday on the phone. It is really hard for me to be around him in public. I want to be close to him. When we are alone, I don't keep my hands off of him.

AP and I got to have "lunch" together yesterday. We already had plans to see each other next Monday. So, I am relishing the fact that I get to be with him twice in the same week (and three times, if he lets me talk him into seeing him Tuesday morning before work).

I have really been working on focusing on the positives in our relationship. I have also been working on compartmentalizing our relationship. AP and I have great communication. Even yesterday, I wanted to make sure he understood that I would never jeopardize our relationship. I know that I have to be smart if this is going to last forever.

For those of you struggling, I suggest journaling and writing about the highs. That way you have something to read when you are down that will remind you why you got on this crazy roller coaster in the first place. Open communication is also a must in these relationships. It is important you both know exactly where you stand. This has really worked for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2004
Sat, 08-23-2008 - 12:22pm

We all need some happy stories. I agree there are too many of us that need help. So I thought I'd add to the upside of the roller coaster.

My AP had gone on a 1 1/2 week vacation with his W and 2 kids. I was a little skeptical upon his return if he would want to continue our A. I did my best to avoid him while at work. Until about 3 days after his return, he made the first move. He made it a point to be near me and happen to rub up against me. Then when I looked at him, he just gave me a look with his eyes that told me he missed me. He has this look that he'll give me and those eyes of his just make me melt.

There was another post on here somewhere (can't find it) about how AP holds you when your kissing. Just yesterday, we found a place at work where we both slipped away (this doesn't happen very often as its hard to do). As soon as I joined him, he grabbed my head with both his hands and gave me the biggest kiss. It was great!!! Then he wrapped both his arms around me and just held me tight while we continued to kiss. I was in heaven.

Now we have NC for the weekend. I can't wait til Monday when I get to see him again. Hopefully we can make plans for some alone time. Of course, I won't be holding my breath.

I hope this lifts some spirits. It sure did make me happy!!!

Blissfully,
Spazzn

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2008
Sat, 08-23-2008 - 3:22pm

I

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Mon, 08-25-2008 - 2:55pm

Hi virgo & all,

You are correct, I was hijacked by a troll and so I removed my post. You are also right in that posting our happy stories is important.

Your R sounds really great and I'm really hoping that mine turns out to be the same sort of R. He comes home tomorrow from a three week vacation and I had posted that even though I miss him madly...he has sent texts and or phones pretty much every day since he left. And it's usually more than once a day too...he's called and sent three texts for the last two days and each message is more loving than the last. My final messages from him yesterday simply said hi, home soon....XXXOOO. He's told me several times that he misses me very much and I am over the moon with the joy of it all.

I can't wait to see him again!

Thanks for replying...it does help to see such posts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2008
Mon, 08-25-2008 - 3:03pm

I wanted to make sure he understood that I would never jeopardize our relationship. I know that I have to be smart if this is going to last forever. Wow thats crazy to hear it from someone else sometimes i dont think and my ap and he tells me that i need to be smart if we want to keep going...awww lol

For those of you struggling, I suggest journaling and writing about the highs. That way you have something to read when you are down that will remind you why you got on this crazy roller coaster in the first place. Open communication is also a must in these relationships. It is important you both know exactly where you stand.Yes i agree you have to know where you stand and it has worked for me as weell... This has really worked for me.