Off-Topic but need support too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2011
Off-Topic but need support too!
5
Sat, 03-10-2012 - 8:25pm

I am on the edge, I feel a nervous breakdown happening but I cannot afford to have one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2010
Sun, 03-11-2012 - 11:15am
Bsbsker, sometimes we have to git rock bottom before we can climb back up. You have a lot of stress right now, make a point to see your DR tomorrow. Some anti-anxiety meds will help, not to mention just discussing it with your.Dr.

Right now, you feel bad for casting yur daughter out, but it sounds like you have enabled her and she has taken the utmost advantage of that. No one can make this time easier for you, you have to pass through the storm of the divorce and fight with your daughter. You are on a road to finding peace, but getting there will not be easy. Hold on, bug hugs!!
~Sunny~
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2011
Sun, 03-11-2012 - 2:50pm
As a parent, mother of a 21 year old daughter, i am extremely saddened and guilty for having participated in events leading to the need to kick her out of my home amd give her such tough love that will no doubt exclude me from her life. She will be angry enough to exclude me. I do know that is whats best for my mental and physical well being and her need to mature and grow up to be a functional adult. Thankfully there has not been drugs and alcohol but she makes extremely poor choices. The fear if the unknown scares me to death, i have to let her go.
I think its horrible.as a parent to do this but its necessary. I need to take care of me during this extremely difficcult time in my life.
I am all alone, except for the wonderful people here who let me vent and my AP, I have no family that i talk to and very few friends, i have distanced myself from them for a long time now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2011
Sun, 03-11-2012 - 3:45pm

Hugs Bsbsker!!! I don't have children, but I know from friends and family experiences that kicking out and letting go of a adult child is one of the hardest and most heartwrenching things that one goes through. As a mother, it goes against everything in your heart. But almost always, it turns out to be just what the kid needed. They are finally forced to make their own decisions and take responsibiltiy for themselves. Yes she's probably going to be mad (VERY mad) for a while. But it won't be forever. Once she gets her stuff together, time passes, she will be happier, and she will be back in your life. She won't blame you forever, and I know one day she will understand.

As for you, maybe this is a great time to reconnect with those friends who you've distanced yourself from. Spend time on you, reading good books, joining a gym, redecorating the house or whatever makes you happy. big big hugs to you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2011
Mon, 03-12-2012 - 12:05am
Thanks smallthings. This is absolutely the hardest thing i have ever had to do. my mantra is, it needs to be done. She will be beyond very mad, we have always been there. We will still be there but not in the way she wants or expects.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 9:55am

I'm sure that your daughter realizes that she's being disrespectful, but if that's the way she's been behaving for years, she doesn't even know how to make it different. She'll realize at some point that