Torn...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Torn...
1
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 11:16pm
I've been married for 18 years and survived my husband's affair and online relationships. I'm torn with the feelings that I have inside to find passion. I've tossed around the idea of an EMA. I recently ran into an old friend from high school with whom I had a brief relationship. He has been very sweet and kind, but I'm not sure if there is still a spark from 20 years ago or if he is just being the kind sweet man that he is. (And I have to add, he has aged VERY WELL!! He is even sexier now than he was back then). I don't want to read more into the situation. But he has agreed to replace the brakes on my car the Friday after Thanksgiving. He said that he wanted to make it more convenient for me since I was going to be off of work anyway. The few times that I've stopped by his office and we were briefly alone, our eyes would meet and it would be electric. I know that he's married but he doesn't wear a wedding band. I don't want to push things but how do you move to the next level? Right now it is basically innocent flirting. BTW my husband has a job where he works from 7:30 pm to 4:30 am M-F. I'm alone a lot and when he is home, he's either watching sports on tv or playing his online game. I feel neglected and taken for granted. When I come home from work (he's home all day, wakes up around 1:00) I still have the laudry to do, dinner, dishes, kids with their homework and baths. He "forgets" to take out the trash until I remind him several times, but he never seems to forget to buy cigarettes at the store next to the convenience center where we have to take our trash. I guess I'm frustrated after all the years I've put into our relationship and not having much to show for it except our kids. I guess that I've reached the turning point in my life where I want to do something for me. Never once have I strayed or been in this situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2003
In reply to: ktipton66
Sat, 11-22-2003 - 8:18pm
Hi Ktipton66, and Welcome,

Not being married, I can't really comment on how difficult this situation must be for you emotionally. However, I will offer you the same suggestion I have recently offered to one of my girlfriends contemplating having an affair, which is also the same suggestion I offered to the MM I am involved with before our relationship became physical. Both my girlfriend and my MM had never been in affair before and both had the idea that they would never ever have an affair.....but sometimes life offers us different opportunities than we had previously expected.

Anyway, before you take this to the next level resolve things in your own mind. If you choose to become involved in an EMA make sure you're ok with the idea of having an A. Especially since you mentioned that the potential man is someone you have known for a considerable amount of time and someone you are friends with. Sex can be a very wonderful and passionate experience with someone you have a good connection with, and I would hate for anyone to have such an amazing experience and then be riddled with regrets over the whole thing.

Best wishes to you as you discover what you are truly looking for in a R, whether that be with your DH or this OM.

Annika

Brightest Blessings, Annika