You opened yourself up for all this mess knowing full well he IS a MM. This is the reason why I say, an A is NOT for the weak of heart and mind. No one forced you to interact with this man. You had a choice in the process. You now have another choice to make. Either you lay down and die or fight for yourself. You've just been taught a very expensive lesson, but you will be stronger for it in the end.
He was never yours in the first place. You can't lay a claim to a MM until he's D. Let him sort out his mess for now. Don't worry about if he did or did not sleep with the W. If they're still M then most likely he's been lying to you and her. If he's been totally honest with her, he wouldn't worry about the sunburn.
Don't let your feelings for him push you into becoming a floormat. I'm sure when it's time for him to be away from the family again he will contact you (he seems quite addicted to the double life he's been having with you). Don't be the crutch that will enable him to stay in an unsatisfying M. Sometimes we women tend to just accept every crap they throw at us just because we're desperate to be with them.
Find something you can do by yourself that you will enjoy. Accept that you can't control him or make him leave his family so you two can be together. Stop revolving your life and happiness around him. You've survived this far without him, you can do it again. Just be smarter this time around.
Also a good time for you to visit the EAS board and read up in their "Healing Library".
"Any suggestions or opinions? I long to get some help..."
First of all, go get a big glass of water. Drink it. Do it again. If it's still light out where you are, open the blinds and windows. Open them even if it's dark; let the fresh air in. Take a breath.
Secondly, there IS help here if you want it. Listen to Goddess and Lex. (as well as the others!!)
Stop micro-analyzing every moment you spent together. You cannot change his decision to be where he is....regardless of how he feels about you. It's what HE needs to do.
What YOU need to do it take care of yourself physically and then emotionally. Are you drinking that water???
Look, my heart breaks for you. We all can identify with your despair and frustration. Perhaps not at your level. Perhaps so. Many of us have been there.
I wish I could come over and help you...just to be another human being in the room that cares. Plus I am pretty anal about cleaning. LOL
Still drinking that water?
So, my story, the abbreviated one...I'm missing my MM, too. We've been together 5.5 years. Yep. Years. I'm 59. Married 31 years to a great man. So great my friends have always kidded about being next in line for him. But MM and I have a huge history and after not seeing each other for about 36 years we met for lunch. It was either the best or worst day of my life; depending on my mood. The point is....I ended it last week. Do we love each other? Absolutely. No doubt. Undyingly. But we just cannot be together.
Sakkra, many of us here are/have been involved in true love stories. I have never loved more deeply in my life; since I was 17 years old I have loved this man; and he me. Life happens; we make choices; we take a different freaking fork in the road.
Sakkra, you CAN get over this. Please continue to post here. There are many caring people who know your pain. When you are stronger, some may give you a smack with a 4 x 4 to keep you moving in the right direction. That too is support.
But first and foremost, you must immediately take care of your body. You need food and water to think clearly.
Hugs from where we still talk in "pounds" instead of "kg".
oooh sakkra, I feel your pain. I sometimes feel as though I'm seriously going to lose my mind. Many times I want to stay in bed and wait for his call or a text and when a day, then days then a week goes by i realize how much time I've wasted waiting, hoping, and waiting some more and have not done anything but let myself go. I make sure i eat and get up at some point and I do go to work but i sure dont feel like it some days.
Just remember he may be missing you too. But I guarantee he eats, he sleeps and he goes to work while we roll around all day hoping and analyzing and wondering and longing and on
((((sakkra)))) precious woman, I feel your pain. I can't be of much help to you because I am in a similar situation and I know how much it hurts. you are not alone, You WILL get through this. You will. There are better times ahead for you.
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You opened yourself up for all this mess knowing full well he IS a MM. This is the reason why I say, an A is NOT for the weak of heart and mind. No one forced you to interact with this man. You had a choice in the process. You now have another choice to make. Either you lay down and die or fight for yourself. You've just been taught a very expensive lesson, but you will be stronger for it in the end.
He was never yours in the first place. You can't lay a claim to a MM until he's D. Let him sort out his mess for now. Don't worry about if he did or did not sleep with the W. If they're still M then most likely he's been lying to you and her. If he's been totally honest with her, he wouldn't worry about the sunburn.
Don't let your feelings for him push you into becoming a floormat. I'm sure when it's time for him to be away from the family again he will contact you (he seems quite addicted to the double life he's been having with you). Don't be the crutch that will enable him to stay in an unsatisfying M. Sometimes we women tend to just accept every crap they throw at us just because we're desperate to be with them.
Find something you can do by yourself that you will enjoy. Accept that you can't control him or make him leave his family so you two can be together. Stop revolving your life and happiness around him. You've survived this far without him, you can do it again. Just be smarter this time around.
Also a good time for you to visit the EAS board and read up in their "Healing Library".
Myspace Graphics
Myspace Graphics
"Any suggestions or opinions? I long to get some help..."
First of all, go get a big glass of water. Drink it. Do it again. If it's still light out where you are, open the blinds and windows. Open them even if it's dark; let the fresh air in. Take a breath.
Secondly, there IS help here if you want it. Listen to Goddess and Lex. (as well as the others!!)
Stop micro-analyzing every moment you spent together. You cannot change his decision to be where he is....regardless of how he feels about you. It's what HE needs to do.
What YOU need to do it take care of yourself physically and then emotionally. Are you drinking that water???
Look, my heart breaks for you. We all can identify with your despair and frustration. Perhaps not at your level. Perhaps so. Many of us have been there.
I wish I could come over and help you...just to be another human being in the room that cares. Plus I am pretty anal about cleaning. LOL
Still drinking that water?
So, my story, the abbreviated one...I'm missing my MM, too. We've been together 5.5 years. Yep. Years. I'm 59. Married 31 years to a great man. So great my friends have always kidded about being next in line for him. But MM and I have a huge history and after not seeing each other for about 36 years we met for lunch. It was either the best or worst day of my life; depending on my mood.
The point is....I ended it last week. Do we love each other? Absolutely. No doubt. Undyingly. But we just cannot be together.
Sakkra, many of us here are/have been involved in true love stories. I have never loved more deeply in my life; since I was 17 years old I have loved this man; and he me. Life happens; we make choices; we take a different freaking fork in the road.
Sakkra, you CAN get over this. Please continue to post here. There are many caring people who know your pain. When you are stronger, some may give you a smack with a 4 x 4 to keep you moving in the right direction. That too is support.
But first and foremost, you must immediately take care of your body.
You need food and water to think clearly.
Hugs from where we still talk in "pounds" instead of "kg".
Sweetie, first, you need to take care of yourself.
Edited 7/18/2009 1:13 am ET by sakkra
oooh sakkra, I feel your pain. I sometimes feel as though I'm seriously going to lose my mind. Many times I want to stay in bed and wait for his call or a text and when a day, then days then a week goes by i realize how much time I've wasted waiting, hoping, and waiting some more and have not done anything but let myself go. I make sure i eat and get up at some point and I do go to work but i sure dont feel like it some days.
Just remember he may be missing you too. But I guarantee he eats, he sleeps and he goes to work while we roll around all day hoping and analyzing and wondering and longing and on
Edited 7/18/2009 1:14 am ET by sakkra
((((sakkra)))) precious woman, I feel your pain. I can't be of much help to you because I am in a similar situation and I know how much it hurts. you are not alone, You WILL get through this. You will. There are better times ahead for you.
HUGS
Edited 7/18/2009 1:15 am ET by sakkra
Edited 7/18/2009 1:16 am ET by sakkra
Edited 7/18/2009 1:17 am ET by sakkra
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