Treating emails like my drug addiction..

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Treating emails like my drug addiction..
1
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 3:42pm
Take it one send button at a time, lol!!

SO/OM and I are in a quasi-NC. His g/f is home recovering from surgery and he's off for the next two days. I know that he will call if he can, but I am not counting on it. The next two days after that are my off days and I will have custody of the kids for the first half of it. Normally he would come by after work, but obviously can't with them here. So....Friday I will see him. Maybe. If the muses of workaday world cooperate. If not, it's Saturday before I see him OR talk to him OR email him. She apparently is jealous of the emailing, so he doesn't use the computer at all when she is home. And since she is limited as to what she can do, of course she's always home.

Now, being the noble, kind, considerate woman that I am, lol, I told him last week: go, do what you have to do. I'll be here. We'll see each other at work. It'll be fine. It's only 2 weeks. We'll live! And I meant it. So, I decided that I absolutely wouldn't email him except to answer any contraband emails he may be able to send. And THAT's what's killing me!!! I'm dying here!!!

So, I'm taking the same approach as I did on my beginning journey to going clean and that is to take each email at a time. I try not to even log on to Yahoo to begin with, but that's a losing battle. What if he was able to steal a few minutes while she slept or something, right?!?! Then I try not to email him anything and that is what has taken the strength. There have been several threads on this board, for instance, I wanted to share with him. But even if I'm weak enough to actually type it, I muster every bit of strength I have to hit the cancel button instead of the send. It's so hard. Reminds me of my detox. LOL!!!! Damn, I can't wait until she goes back to work!!!!

Lucky

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 4:46pm
I know what you mean...

For about 8 months my OW and I went through that. Sneaking phone calls, emails... you're logging in every few minutes like some kind of trained lab animal...

"must log in, might get email."

Yeah. I don't miss that at all.

rain