Trying to Keep It Together
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Trying to Keep It Together
| Mon, 08-25-2008 - 3:47pm |
I posted this on the Life After Affair board, but on second thought I am wondering if the folks on this baord would be able to relate better....
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I am so, so very sorry about all of this. Your screen name says it all - you are gonna be okay because you have taken a very decent and respectful approach to this awful situation, and you will come away from this a better person, no matter what happens.
The truth is, it doesn't matter if you fight or let him go - you can't control what he chooses by doing either. I know that is so hard to believe, but I really think it's true.
Now, some things that may mean one thing or another: he never told you about the emails, and he never replied to them (but didn't delete them). These both could mean either that he's thinking it over, and can't tell you yet - because he hasn't decided; or that he is not planning on going back, and there's no sense in hurting you.
But the hardest part is no matter which it is, all you can do is let him know every day that you love him - and do that without comparing what you have and what you could give him with what he would have with his W - and NEVER tell him that you read his email. I know there are a couple of people here in MAS that don't agree with that, but thats my opinion.
He will make the choice he can live with - so you just, unfortunately, either need to wait until he comes to you with this, or if there is any other way you can bring this up without letting him know about the email, then perhaps try that in a safe and sensitive way, so he feels comfortable being honest with you.
After all this time and all you've been through, you at least deserve his honesty. My heart goes out to you and my hat goes off to you for the way you have handled all of this so far - you've done a pretty darn good job and I don't know that you really need our advice to continue to do the same.
But we are here for you and we can support you, whatever happens.