Ugh, was not expecting this dip!
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| Fri, 07-18-2003 - 8:27pm |
Does anyone else have such realistic dreams, where it plays in your mind like a movie all day, sometimes re-occuring? I have a couple re-occuring dreams from childhood which I've dreamt ocassionally over the years without trying to, uh, analyze them. And, I've rarely had vivid dreams that stay with me for a long time (usually I forget the details soon after waking) and those were normally about my children's safety. But, since I've been with MM I seem to have a couple of the vivid dreams a month in which I can still recall the details as if they actually happened...and even those re-occuring dreams from childhood have changed after 30+ years of staying the same!, and MM is in one.
My mom used to say that if we told our dream aloud to someone that we wouldn't dream it again - though I still have those re-occuring childhood dreams, maybe this will give me some relief!
Without too much strain I can work out the different facets of my dream - but I am so drained from it, as if I actually went through the emotions. I felt like crying all day! So I get home, and H is in a controlling, argumentative, I-have-to-tell-you-how-little-you-are-worth mood. After weeks of work on keeping a balance and even being happy in some respect, it takes one day to feel myself slipping again. Days like this I could slip off by myself for a week or year. (I don't think most know my story? I started EMA with MM after H asked for a D - H has had many A's throughout our 20+ years of marriage in which I've allowed abuse and control - follow that soap opera, lol?)
But I won't slip off - I'll get the children off to bed, hopefully H will still be gone so I can have a good cry, then I'll pull out my mind-over-matter book, pull up my socks, do something wonderful for myself (other than eat a pound of double chocolate brownies which I had for dinner!), and get through it, one minute at a time! Um, some sympathy and validation of my emotional wrought of mind without being crazy (becuase it is just all mental) would give me a bit of strength, too!
TIA,
Meow

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Dreams like that suck!! When they seem so real! Try to think happy thoughts, tell you OM and hopefully he'll laugh with you and make you feel better! think about something really good before you go to sleep tonight!
=)
Dreams are just reflections of our subconscious, but they sure can make us miserable the next day. I am a firm believer that dreams mean what YOU think they mean. But I will offer you some suggestions:
On some level, there is the wish that MM would chuck it all and run off with you into the sunset, but there is so much guilt associated with that that in your dream, you had to punish yourself for "going there". The "other woman" who told you that MM didn't want you anymore is a reflection of your fear that MM will reject you or treat you the way he has treated his wife, and she is also a relfection of the fact that you are in a "triangular" relationship that is fraught with "she saids" and "he saids" that you can never really get to the bottom of. The dream is a wish gone terribly awry due to anxiety and guilt.
Maybe some of that will appeal to you. If not, so be it...
I think that your dream will fade and not bother you so much tomorrow. Again, it's just a dream - a message from you to you. It has nothing to do with your MM at all.
Best...
I too have rarely had those kind of dreams that haunt you before. But since MM I have had a few. One especially dark one, where I dreamed MM's wife died, I was at the funeral and looked in the casket and it was ME. I am not a psychologist. (amateur maybe!). But that dream had me freaked out for a day or so. Sent chills down my spine. Obviously affected me, since I can still remember it clearly. Or actually, I remember the feelings I had when I woke up most.
You defijnately are not alone. They say that dreams are the sub-concious's way of dealing with things we can't deal with normally. EMA's are definately hard to deal with awake some days. So I'd guess this is pretty normal!
Hope tomorrow is better! Sweet Dreams!!!!!
CFH
It's the same w/ dreams that make you feel
the opposite too: the really wonderful ones.
I have that happen to me w/ dreams all the
time... I often have particularly seemingly
"real" ones that stick w/ me all day whether
I awoke feeling bad or thrilled. I know how
you feel! You try to shake it off, try to
tell yourself that it was only a dream, nothing
like that has happened in your life, but the
feeling is so strong and it stays w/ you all
day. Sometimes even a bit in the next day.
But you know what? It just ends up fading on its
own. I had one last week about OM that I recall
being particularly vivid and "real" and I rem.
waking up w/ such intense emotions that stuck
w/ me all day long. But know what? Right now
I can't even recall WHAT the dream was. I can't
even recall whether it made me feel bad or if it
made me feel terribly thrilled (I THINK it had
made me feel very happy, I think it had been a
very lovey, "finally together" sort of dream, but
I wouldn't bet $ on it).
Before you know it, you won't even rem. the dream
at all!
I think you should analyze your dreams... although I don't think they are necessarily pre-escient, I do think they tell you what's jumbling together in your mind and offer you a point for exploration.
And I agree w/Yoga... in many ways your dream is what you make it to be. But since it comes from your own psyche, it's up to you to figure out where it belongs and either box it back up or let it go, work through it, explore. Part of the frustration is that you're wound up over something that is literally all in your head! And it triggers a bunch of "what ifs"... which you can fight off if you can see why you came up with that scenario in the first place!
Take this as an opportunity, Meow! I know you like things neat and stacked evenly in those boxes... but I think you threw some of those boxes out a while ago! I know you're the ultimate one for logic and common sense... which may be why such a vivid dream threw you for such an emotional loop. So go with it. Cry. Think. Dissect. Once you ponder, you separate what's real from what isn't. And you feel better.
Funny you should mention dreams, though, as I have been replaying one for a few weeks now. The dream was intense. And although it has not repeated, I *have* had a SEQUEL to that dream! Yes, really... I do analyze and review my dreams, and I've had very emotional ones that leave me bent out of shape for days, but part of trying to figure them out to some semblance of my own satisfaction is what helps me put such an intense psychic experience behind me. I'm still figuring these dreams out, and once I get past the impact, the detective work is illuminating and fun.
Hugs to you, Meow. I miss seeing you around here and am glad you stopped in! Love and support always awaits you here!
take care,
lily of the slumbering valley...
I've not really had many recurring ones... although in the last year or so I know that I've replayed some very similar ones from my child hood. I too have had dreams about MM and I... dreams where I somehow meet his wife and the truth all comes out... I've yet to actually see an ending to them as I wake up right about then.
I think dreams are just our mental thoughts coming our in pictures... if that makes sense??? but who really knows.
thinking of you hon and sending lots of luv and hugs your way
Sweet
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
dreams last night and are feeling better!
Ironically enough, the post I wrote you last
night was one of the last things I did before
going to bed and all night long I had a horrible
sleep. I've had a lot on my mind regarding things
w/ OM the past few days. I wasn't really discussing
them w/ anyone until last night OWIR and I had a
long chat and she was really helpful. Needless to
say, I didn't think I'd dream about OM and I at all
last night and every single time I fell asleep, I
had a dream about things that have been on my mind.
I'd wake up and have that "oh no" feeling and just
be all nervous and stuff and finally fall back to
sleep and have a similar dream of he and I all over
again. That went on ALL NIGHT LONG. So now i really
feel how you felt yesterday! I know nothing in real
life happened, but just can't shake the icky nervous
and anxious feeling.
Just figured I'd share as it was kind of weird that
I haven't had that happen in a while and then it
happened all last night. Hope you have a great day!
Well... off to work for me....
I did *not* tell MM about my dream, lol! I do tell him about some of my dreams, but he might find an interpretation out of this dream that is different than I see. And, his version might stay at the back of his mind.
I say that to my children, too, to think of something good, lol. But you're right - I should be putting good thoughts in my mind before sleeping, not trying to work through things as I tend to do...must remember that!
Thanks, Lexy, for your support!
Meow
I agree with you, in that we interpret our own meanings from our dreams. I think dreams are merely the subconscious playing back memories, thoughts, experiences, etc. and when we awake the conscious analyzes them. I don't know that the subconscious has the ability to reason or make decisions.
Nope, your analysis isn't my analysis, lol. Although the dream didn't have anything to do with MM directly, the part where he couldn't talk to me probably stemmed from the fact that we had an interrupted conversation and couldn't finish it before my dream.
The emotions of the dream has faded...life has a way of doing that. Now, almost a week later, I feel it wasn't so much the dream, as my reaction to it, how I let the emotions control me, that bothered me...since I am sensitive of my relationship with H (the control, mind games, etc), and trying to understand that whole concept so that I don't allow control or abuse *ever* again. I guess sometimes I think there is a key and start analyzing, when really it will come to me eventually.
The actual details of the dream, as well as other dreams I've had of MM are still very vivid, and those re-occuring dreams too. And, I don't know why - the mind is beyond me! Hmmm, when I finally get some "me" time, perhaps I should take some psychology classes for the excuse to analyze, lol.
Thanks for your response, Yoga.
Meow
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