Update

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2010
Update
2
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 9:53am

Hi Everyone,

I guess I wanted to write this because I know that I've gotten a lot out of reading other people's stories.

I've been vacillating for the last 3 months between leaving my H and staying. We tried working on our marriage, tried counseling, and there was some improvement... but it was never enough. Yet I still hung on, refusing to give up my husband, but refusing to give up AP. My H never found out about the affair, but all of the back and forth was too much for him, and he said he wanted to end it. I can't blame him for that and there's a part of me that, despite how much it hurt to hear him say it, knew it was the right thing to do and was so grateful that he had the strength to say what I knew I never could. Life in limbo is the worst pain imaginable; for the first time in MONTHS the fog is lifted, I'm sad but I can breathe, and there's a part of me (a big part) that's so excited for the life yet to come.

I saw my IC yesterday, who has also been our MC. She said that this was truly the right thing for me, that I could have lived a life with my H but never truly would be happy. She said, honestly, that it was a matter of time, and it was the right thing for me. And that gives me comfort.

Having AP in my life has been a lifesaver for me. He was ending things with his girlfriend at the same time, and made his "official" on the same day. We held each other so tightly last night. I can't help but thank god that he's in my life right now. Will it work out between us? It's nice to think that but at the very least, I know the reason he's in my life right now. We get along so well, and to have each other there to literally help us through the darkest days... a tremendous blessing. People keep telling me to take the time to get to know myself, to date around, keep it casual... and maybe one day I will want that but right now, I need to hold on to him, I need to know he's in my life because he's giving me hope that the future can be even brighter than the one before.

I guess this post is kind of vague but I wanted to get this out there. Writing it down feels good and makes it official. Whatever we do to cope...

Abby

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2009
In reply to: abby2727
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 12:00pm

I truly understand how you feel.


I've been so miserable in my M.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
In reply to: abby2727
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 7:18pm
I'm glad you're moving forward in your life in a positive direction. Maybe things will work out with your AP - maybe not - like any relationship there are no guarantees. But at least you have a chance to be truly happy in a relationship better suited to you than your marriage was - whether it's with AP or not! It's really nice to read a positive post here; lately, it seems like everyone is so sad...

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've