Update

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Update
5
Mon, 11-17-2003 - 4:02pm
O.K., It has been a while since I posted. Update wise anyway. I am still seeing my MM outside of work only about once a week- usually we can only steal an hour or so. I am still splitting from my SO after the first of the year. He knows we are just doing a planned separation if you will. We still love each other, but after six years and a home purchase together 3 1/2 years ago he still says he does not want to get married and may think about it in another 2-3 years. i just cannot wait for him any longer. Anyway, sorry I got up on my soapbox a bit there. MM and I work together and basically aggreed to enter a sexual affaair with each other because neither one of us was satisfied at home. I REALLY enjoy his company. I am starting to wonder how long will we keep this up, what will happen after my SO and I split and I have my own place. Will he come see me there? Also, in Jan. my MM will go to another jobsite and we will not work together everyday, and may never need to see each other. I now admit to myself that I still want to see him after this happens, but I do not know about him. I get the feeling he wants to stop the affair soon. I know it is wrong to hope he doesn't, after all, he really belongs to his wife, not to me. Trying to keep my feelings out of it, but it is getting harder. I know I should probably let go now, but I really feel like I NEED him. I keep hoping I will at least get to keep him until my separation occurs. I am willing to risk the hurt riding it out to the end rather than jump ship now.

Did any of you out there talk about any of this with your "A" partners in the beginning stages. Setting terms if you will. "How long do you want to do this?", etc? There are times, sometimes at work, sometimes when we are alone together, when he just looks at me, or looks deep into my eyes. My SO and I still have sex, but no ther affection, and has not loked at me like this in a long time, and it kind of unerves me when MM does it. I like it a lot, but I wonder what he is thinking when he does this. Is it "what am I doing?" Or is he starting to have feelings for me?

Sorry I rambled on for so long. If you all have any thoughts or would like to share please reply.

Kitty

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
In reply to: imasexkitty
Mon, 11-17-2003 - 6:24pm

Hi Kitty,


I don't know whether I can help in any way... but just thought I'd share my experience with my MM.


MM and I never really set any rules... I remember when we first took it up to the physical level... he asked what were my expectations... I told him I had none... to which he said good! I then asked him the same question... to which he replied... none.

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
In reply to: imasexkitty
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 11:13am
Thanks for the thoughts Sweet. A few questions if you don't mind. I know you said "over the years" How long have you and your MM been together? Were you both always married? I understand what you mean about not wanting anything more. I would like to spend more than an hour at a time, but i would never want to take him away from his family. Plus, I want to get married and have a family myself & he has been "fixed". I guess I'll just go along for the ride so to speak. I'll keep ya updated.

Kitty

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
In reply to: imasexkitty
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 4:40pm

Hi Kitty,


MM and I have been in our affair for just over 3 and a half years... never in a million years would I have thought it would last that long... but now I can't think of it ending.


and yes... both MM and I were married with a child each when the affair began... for me it was a way to make things easier... if you know what I mean? at the time I also made friends with a SG who was very interested in me... I guess I had a choice... although was much more attracted to MM anyway and there was something that I felt about him that seemed to make it the right choice.

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
In reply to: imasexkitty
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 5:13pm
Sweet, do you guys talk everyday. Just curious my A just started and we don't talk every day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
In reply to: imasexkitty
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 5:55pm

Hi Sally,


Usually we only talk on the phone once a week... although last week MM was a bit stressed and I got two phone calls from him... just needed someone to vent to.

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My