Update on Blog 3-28 "Affair Help." 2
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|Tue, 04-22-2014 - 12:08pm|
so it has been 2 weeks since I got the news and it was a hard two weeks. Many nights at home with my SO, I felt like a zombie and out of place. My SO did not notice any change, and he never would, because we are NOT intune with eachother at all, hence, why i had an affair to begin with, Many of those nights in a row, I cried uncontrollaby and threw myself on the bathroom floor in a disheartened rage. Those days suddenly seemed less numerous as time went by, even tho I had to see him EVERY day M-F at work, I just stopped feeling angry and sad. I couldn;t cry even if I tried to force myself, and I finally felt acceptance. Then , the BOMBSHELL he told me yesterday at work, out of the blue and unexpectedly. He told me "I want you to know I still have feeling for you. i was thinking about u on break today and i had to remind myself "i can't call her, i can't talk to u with sweetie and petnames anymore." he also told me he was NOT truthful about the reasoning behind the breakup of the affair. His reason 100% is only because of the kids, NOT because of his wife or that his feelings changed. However, seeing that he didn't openly seem affected by it, until one day he shed tears apologizing for hurting me so much, i don't know what to think. I also notice he started complimenting me again and I see him look at me and even check me out. now... this is dangerous territory. Now that the A is over, I don't want to go down that road again with him. He made it clear it could never be with arrival of twins, but I think he has lost his mind. Perhaps the feelings he thought he could hold back and he realizes gthe more he sees me, the more he is still in love?