Update-Even More Confused!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
Update-Even More Confused!
7
Wed, 06-09-2010 - 3:58pm
Here is the latest. MM has been NC since last Thurs. The same day that he told me he would need to take a rain check on my lunch/drink invite. He has responded to the work related emails I had to send him over the past few days. I have also sent a few others asking him if he was okay because he hasn't been at work and I haven't received a response-one yesterday and one today, very brief and to the point as in "are you okay?" Today I asked the same and that I was worried about him and if he could please email/call if he had the chance. We typically share with one another if we will be out or on vacation etc. Occasionally an unplanned sick day pops up and that is no big deal, but several days of not hearing from him or knowing where he is had gotten me worried-my Mommy instincts kicking in here. So I emailed a mutual friend of ours and come to find out he has been assigned to work on a project in another bldg this week and should be back here on Monday. I was relieved that everything was okay. Felt a little foolish, like I was maybe over reacting as well, but relieved. Our friend thought it was funny-he does not know anything about "us."
Anyway, now that I have been thinking about it some I am wondering why he hasn't bothered to respond to my emails or call me knowing I am worried about him to just let me know he is okay. Our friend just sent me a one line email explaining things, why could MM do the same? So now the squirrels are running loose again. Maybe he decided to take this opportunity to go NC and put some distance between us. I guess I won't know a thing until I see him next week. Mid week I am leaving for a family vacation for 2.5 weeks so it will be an extended period of NC. He knows this and he told me we would go to lunch before I left, but he didn't anticipate being relocated for an entire week when we talked about lunch, so my guess is he'll be too busy trying to catch up after being out for a week to have any lunches period. Any thoughts on his behavior?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Wed, 06-09-2010 - 4:04pm

I really don't have any thoughts, other than maybe he's trying to enforce some NC to sort out his feelings?


I have to agree with the email thing, though.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
Wed, 06-09-2010 - 9:25pm
Feeling better as he FINALLY emailed me. He let me know he has been working nights this week and things should be back to normal next week. I can relax finally because I was getting miffed that he didn't even contact me knowing I was worrying. You and I are on the same page about the communication thing-it only takes a minute or two to respond back. So, I'll have to see if we can squeeze in a lunch before I go on vacation,but I am sure we will at least get to chat. I hope to get some clarity on what is going on with us or if this is just a one sided EA.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 8:00am

I don't know if this will make you both feel better, but sometimes I don't e-mail my OM for a couple of days. Well, I don't do e-mail on my phone (never access the internet from there). I don't text (hardly know how LOL. Used to have a fancier phone where it was easy and THEN I texted - not now). The one computer we have is in the bedroom, and sometimes on the weekend, H always seems to be floating behind me, or he's not feeling well and is taking naps, etc etc. I just don't feel like it's worth the chance of getting caught on those days. So I can understand about not e-mailing over the weekend sometimes!

Glad he finally got in touch jerseygirl. It stinks to be worried and have no way to make sure all is well!

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You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Fri, 06-11-2010 - 2:15am

Jersey,


I am with you and anotherseyes about communication!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
Fri, 06-11-2010 - 10:53am
Thanks for your advice. I have come to the same conclusion.I have a hunch I will be finding myself in a situation similar to yours and I hope I can cope as well as you are. I, too, would like to remain friends on some level and don't want to cut him out of my life. We have only known each other for a year and a half and only the past few months have things started to move in the EA direction. There is always the chance that our paths may cross again in the future and we may be in different places in our lives, so I don't want to close any doors. He did end up contacting me finally as I posted in my other thread and apologized for making me worry. He will be back on site next week and we'll have three days before I leave on a family vacation for almost 3 weeks. I hope to have some sort of chat with him before I go so I can have some clarity. Then I can make the most of our time apart to regroup and come back to work and be his friend. Once I am back, he will be on site for about 3 weeks before he is reassigned to another bldg. I can make it through those weeks and then it won't be as hard if I am not seeing him everyday. We'll see if he wants to keep contact after he moves and how frequent it is.
As for not contacting him, yes I am able to do that. I don't over the weekends and this week there has been pretty much nothing-a few work related issues, but nothing personal. I don't plan to contact him next week either. He knows I want to see him before I go on vacation, and he knows where my office is...
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2009
Fri, 06-11-2010 - 3:58pm

I'm with everyone on that communications thing!!


AP is attached to his phone for everything 24/7 for work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Fri, 06-11-2010 - 4:34pm
That's what I told him when we talked about this very thing the other night.

anotherseyes