Update - to I'm confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Update - to I'm confused
4
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 1:48pm
Okay - here is my update and thanks for all the support! I called MM at work this am - asked if I could see him for lunch. He could tell something was wrong in my voice - so, I just came out and told him that he really upset me the other day by what he said. He was so taken back that I was upset. He said that he was joking and I should know that. We do get into some petty detailed sexual covos. He apologized and met me for a quick "talk" - he thinks that I over anyalzyed the convo and was surprised I didn't call him yesterday to let him know I was upset. (maybe, I did overthink too long??) Well, here comes my insecurity with our R - now, I am bothered that he might think I'm being too much of a "needy chick" I pressed him if he was upset with me for telling him how I felt and he just kept laughing and saying No. Our talk turned into a quicky in my car (gosh, in broad daylight - Yikes!!) I feel drained emotionally...do you think I am now overanyzlying what he might be thinking? Did I do the right thing? ahhhhhhh....whoever said this would be easy?? I'm sure he's moved on with his day - and hasn't given it a second thought. Why can't I???
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2003
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 1:59pm
...over-analyzing - sounds all too familiar - I was always being told that I over-analyized entirely too much - but I guess that's just part of 'me' - my insecurities - I can't help it - the next day I'm usually fine. You did the right thing by asking him - see, it was nothing - but it hurt just the same - I know. Lastly, no this isn't an easy thing - but in my opinion, it's worth it - at least for me it is. (quickies are cool - even in broad daylite :)) Have a great day!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 3:46pm
Well if you're okay with his response then that's great. Somehow it doesn't really sound like it though.

But maybe it was a lapse on his part and hopefully won't happen again.

He hurt your feelings. Believe me, MM and I have very explicit convo's too. But although he may say something teasingly to me, I KNOW when he is teasing me, we don't get our wires crossed on things like that.

But he's never said anything that I would misinterpret as a slur on me anyways. He's always been more than considerate in what he says to me. Hope your guy learned a lesson!!

Take care,

Dusty
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 6:11pm
You are absolutely right for bringing it up...I am a little surrpised you didnt backlash at him as soon as he was done saying it but I'm sure you were too shocked to even know what to say...but where does it say in the EMA rule book that we have to keep everything in that is bothering us??? I have been seeing MM for almost 6 months now and I finally lashed out at him this past weekend for something that was bothering me and I do not feel sorry for it...he did something that really hurt me and I wanted him to know so he didn't do it again...it was our first tiff...but ya know what, I felt a lot better...I am so tired of holding all of this inside...one day it is going to lead me to an emotional breakdown, so I decided that when something is bothering me, he is going to know about it...he needs to know when he is doing something to hurt or upset you, just as you would want to know the same thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 6:35pm
Funny - if it was my H, I'd have been all over him for saying that. I guess deep down inside I am insecure about our relationship. What is also really strange is I am a very, strong, professional women who nobody walks on.

I have been feeling all afternoon that he is going to be upset with me for even bringing this up..again, I am most likely thinking WAY too much!