Update on Me

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Update on Me
5
Mon, 03-11-2013 - 11:09pm

Hi, MAS Gang!

Like I said before, it is nice to see some activity again on MAS, although I don't come around a lot.  I've been trying to make even the idea of an A take a backseat in my life, so the breakdown of MAS happened at a good time for me.  It kind of forced me to dwell less upon my A.

I still talk to AP a lot, but I have developed a few great friendships with some female friends and it helps me stop from turning to him.  I have always had a lot of women friends, but so often in the past ten years, all my old friends were so wrapped up in kids and soccer and work that it was hard to really feel like I could turn to them at any time.  My best friend now is a coworker and when we hang out, it's like a pair of silly high school girls.  We giggle and gossip and just have fun!  And her kids are almost grown, so she actually has time to spend with me.  I realized I relied upon my XH, then AP for most of my real intimate social contact, so I am working on branching out and it feels good!

I do still get frustrated sometimes with AP, about the usual things, but I'm caring less over time.  I still really value the long friendship, and I'm glad he makes the efforts he makes to keep me in his life after the A. Most of the time is is working.

I did have a little wobble about a month ago.  I went to AP's house one day after school and we had some contact...not much.  I initiated it (as always) and I felt pretty dumb about it very quickly.  It had been almost a year and a half since we had fooled around, and the way I felt afterwards made me appreciate the way no physical contact protects me.  The good news is, it didn't cause a bunch of drama for either of us.  Thank goodness!  I don't worry about screwing up anymore, after all of the many, many other screw ups I have already had...lol.  There's not much to lose, and that takes the pressure off.

I'm still not dating.  I'm not there yet.  I'm considering becoming a nun.  I already have the perfect nun's name, so if I can just eschew the carousing and cursing and general lewdness, it may work. Wish me luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Mon, 03-11-2013 - 11:12pm

Oh, and also a note out to Itstime: I read your posts and I was wondering how you are doing.  I was really surprised and proud that you finally cut your AP off.  I'm sad that he makes you feel like that.  All I can say is you are smart, sweet, caring, and funny, and if he doesn't appreciate and miss that, he is very stupid.  

Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007
Tue, 03-12-2013 - 1:13pm

A nun?!  lol

Sounds like you are doing great!  Anything that detracts focus from an A helps tremendously.  I am glad you were able to make new friends and you seem happier.

Lots o' luck!!!

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Wed, 03-13-2013 - 7:00pm

Thanks, lost!  Yeah, maybe a nun is a bit of a stretch for me. :)

I do feel happier!  I'm glad to be off the roller coaster, and yet...sigh...the only men I have been attracted to are married.  I keep my hands off, but what the heck is wrong with me?

Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 10:37am

There is nothing wrong with you.  One day, your "single" prince will come.  Wink

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2012
Sun, 05-19-2013 - 4:08pm

Hi JJI haven't posted for about 6 months or so I'm not sure if you remember our coorespondence. I do remember your A. I am happy to hear you are moving on. Its one step at a time. I am at my year anniversary of my A and although a lot has happened over the last year nothing has changed. I hurt a lot but have finally come to some change in my attitude where I am not that attracted to him anymore and it creates a big hole in my heart. What is there to look forward to?Anyway. I want to respnd to your post because I think there is something wrong with you and me. I am reading "The single-woman-married-man syndrome" its enlightening. I think we are all in the same boat, except for maybe cowgirl.Good luck...remember life should be fun. Looking forward to corresponding some more on the board!

janejosie wrote:
<p>Thanks, lost!  Yeah, maybe a nun is a bit of a stretch for me. :)</p><p>I do feel happier!  I'm glad to be off the roller coaster, and yet...sigh...the only men I have been attracted to are married.  I keep my hands off, but what the heck is wrong with me?</p>