Update on my A

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2009
Update on my A
5
Wed, 12-18-2013 - 4:05pm

I met up with AP this week and we ended up having one of those deep meanigful conversations about our early relationship and possible reasons for his 'shyness/mistrust' with/of me...it was there 45 years ago when we first met, and entirely down to poor communication by both of us. Anyway in an effort to get across to him how much I love him I reminded him of some words in a song I had sent him the week before...they were along the lines of 'I would leave behind eveything in my life to be with him'. He replied with the fact we are both married to other people...which I acnowledged and said I understood he would never leave his wife. So then he drops a bomb shell on me by saying I shouldn't be so sure of that and to wait and see what happens! So now, after five years, I have hope where I had none before and it's doing my head in! 

Kat xx

katuk
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2009
In reply to: katuk9
Mon, 12-23-2013 - 6:27pm
Hi Happinesstimes, yes a 5 year A with a long lost love....it's also a LDA (long distance affair) !!!! Kat xx
katuk
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2013
In reply to: katuk9
Sun, 12-22-2013 - 11:20am

Kat,

I am new to this board and not up to date on your affair scenario.  If what I am understanding you have been having an affair for 5 years with a long lost love from years ago?   If that is correct, I can just imagine how what he said has made you have hope about a future together.  I personaly don't know what I would do if my guy made that kind of comment because like you I am married and having an affair with a married man.  Mine hasn't been that long but I really do enjoy what we have.  I don't have a historical connection like you guys so that probably does complicate things in your head.  I often wonder if my affair will deepen to want to move to the next step or will I remain happy with what I have right now because what I have I think I would die if I lost it and I don't really have any desire currently to want more than we have.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2009
In reply to: katuk9
Thu, 12-19-2013 - 6:09am
No I haven't seen it...will go and google it later! If only the pair of us had communicated properly when we were younger...he didn't think I cared and I didn't think he cared because neither of us were brave enough to say how we felt...both scared of rejection (and I had some issues of self worth/self esteem because of my childhood). Both of us were *players* when we were young but something kept drawing us back together and we never fell out...then I told him I was marrying someone else (to escape an abusive home life, but I didn't tell him that) and we didn't see each other again for 35 years. Now the chemistry is as strong as ever and getting stronger each time we meet...he travels hundreds of miles just to spend the night with me, we speak (email) every day (when it's *safe*) . I can't/won't leave my M for a couple of years until I have some financial independence plus the are some wider family issues that have to be resolved...I had been thinking about leaving before I started the A so I wouldn't be doing it just to be with him. I'm sure my mind will calm down once the shock of what he said wears off, but for the moment it's racing with all the possibilities etc! I guess time will tell if we do eventually end up toether! Kat xx
katuk
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2013
In reply to: katuk9
Thu, 12-19-2013 - 1:49am
Your relationship sound like this movie [same time next year] if you have never seen it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2013
In reply to: katuk9
Thu, 12-19-2013 - 1:49am
You relationship sound like this movie [same time next year] if you have never seen it.