Update on my Ex-EMA and new friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Update on my Ex-EMA and new friend
2
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 4:26pm


Hi Everyone. I have been an emotional mess and I have posted on here numerously. Here is my update.

I sent XOM (who I am still totally in love with) an email saying I will forget the past, I just want to be his friend...and have it the way it was, (my H and he and his W and I and our kids) all as friends and that I would appreciate if he would do me the honor of letting me be "just" his friend.

So, the same day....in the afternoon, I see that he replied to my email. Oh My God. I am pretty much hypervenilating because it had been 3 months of on and off contact....and that long since I have seen him. Well, he says that he just got home from the hospital and that he was very sorry how he was towards me. He asked "if I could find it in my heart to forgive him and he would be honored to be our friend again...oh and btw YES, he and his family are coming up for dinner on sunday, what should they bring?" OMG. I nearly fainted. This coming from a man who had been brutally ignorant of my requests to confront me, to tell me to piss off, or atleast send me a goodbye email so I didnt pester him anymore.

My H called to talk to him last night and found out that XOM he had been in the hospital because of chest pain, and it turned out to be a blood clot in his right lung. PLUS high blood pressure. Stress. He was right, he DID have alot going on in his life.

Maybe being in the hospital scared him and made him realize that life is too short to be an a$%hole. Who knows. But I recieved another email from him last night. It was a short one line email that said "You'll have company older than 5 now...are you sure you can handle being around this old man? ;-) " )

I used to tease him because he is 9 years older than I.

So they are coming up. It will be the first time we seen him in 3 months. I am going to be friendly...I would rather have his friendship than nothing at all...even thought I am still in love with him. If anything happens again between me....well, lets just say it would be great, but I cant have any expectations because that would set me up for disapointments...ahhhh but I am soooo happy!

Jeli



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 8:27am
I just had to reply because this reminded me of something I went through recently. MM was being distant and moody and I couldn't figure out why -- thought it was guilt. Turns out he'd been having chest pains for several weeks and he was worried he was having a heart attack. He felt he was being punished for what he was doing with me. He's a little dramatic that way. Anyway, finally he went to the dr. and had it looked at and found out it was something that could be fixed, not heart-related, and now he's back to his old self. Anyway, I think when you feel like your life is on the line, it puts things in perspective a little. I know it would me. I can't even pray anymore because every time I do, I burst into tears that God must think I'm a horrible person for what I'm doing. And the first thing I'd want to do if I thought I was dying was pray, so to do that I'd probably have to straighten up my act. Does that make sense?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 11:48am
Lilah, I know where you are coming from. These past few years have been so rough....money wise, health wise....I have been thinking that all along, if god is so great, then why the heck is be letting my life be so crappy? Why does he let all this bad stuff happen to me when everyone else in my family is so well off in every way. Ugh! Who knows. I dont.

Sorry to bring up the religion thing if it offends any of you reading this..

Jeli

PS....today is thursday. I havent IM'd or recieved a reply to my short email from him since Tuesday. Guess I cant really ask for much more than him actually acknowledging me....he will email me when he does...no pushing from me. Ugh! The wait! LOL

I just hope he really shows up on Sunday. He says its on their family calendar...I can only hope. I know the pain will be there when I see him, but oh, he is soooo sweet to the eyes!

LOL