Update on my situation
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| Mon, 11-03-2003 - 10:24am |
Friday he didn't come see me at all. Not once. I called him in the morning because I thought he was acting weird and he assured me everything was fine...he's just having a bad day. Time to go home came and still no MM. I wanted to at least see him once, so I was dumb and called and left a message that I'd be here a little longer than usual (waiting on my ride) and I wanted him to call me before I left. I said if he didn't call, I'd get the hint and not show up at the gym Saturday. I knew that would get him -- no matter how things are going, it drives him crazy if I'm not there to make eyes at him at the gym.
Sure enough, in the very last possible minute he called. He'd been "helping out" his friend with something... Basically, he was in the very place he retreats to when he's avoiding me. I was still waiting on my ride so I asked if I could come by and see him and he said sure. He told me when he's having problems he just figures no one will want to be around him and I told him that wasn't at all true... But I knew that wasn't the issue so I didn't waste too much energy arguing with him. He assured me REPEATEDLY that he wasn't avoiding me; he was just busy. (Heard that one before.) You know, it's exactly like that Men Are From Mars... thing someone posted. He's even said it before. When we've been really intense for a period of time, often he'll start feeling like he's neglecting other areas of his life and he'll take time off from me and be suddenly busy with everything else.
So anyway, at the gym he was all sweet and flirty and waving at me and such. Everything seemed to be back to normal. But for some reason when I woke up this morning I was filled with...something. Not sure what. Determination, maybe? I just didn't want to let him have the power. That drives me crazy. So I decided that this morning when I went to the little meeting we have every morning where I see him, I wasn't going to look at him. Not only that, but I was going to look my absolute best. I took extra pains with my hair and makeup today and I went over there and stood and didn't so much as glance in his direction. I felt SO empowered. I was sure he'd call as soon as I got back to my desk, but he didn't. Still, I'm not calling him today, period. I don't care if it's quitting time and I still haven't seen him. I'm posting it here and I'm sticking to it!!! (I even put a newspaper on top of my phone to cover it up to remind me not to even THINK about it!) I keep reminding myself of so many things -- that I have a loving, happy marriage while his really sucks. That I'm a beautiful woman who could likely have her pick of men if she wanted while he's just not that good-looking. I'm SO much better than him in so many ways, so why should I be sitting by the phone with tears in my eyes? It doesn't make any sense. Anyway, it felt good just posting all this and having someone to talk to about it. I feel so alone during these times.

Good luck to you. Maybe if you just wrap yourself up in your life, and all othe positive things around you you can see the negitive in your A, and it will not be so hard to let it go.
it's good to feel empowering..lucky that you are able to do that..dressing up..so he thinks you are through with him.
do you ever feel like he turns things around to you? like if you question his actions..he sometimes turns it around to blame you for how he is acting?