Update - Need Advice
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Update - Need Advice
| Mon, 12-22-2003 - 8:59am |
I e-mailed SM after 4 weeks nc after our first ic, asked him if he had fun. He replied right away, YES I HAD FUN, I'll write more later. A few days later was his birthday. I called his cell and we talked for about 5 minutes. I asked if I could stowe away in his luggage during his New Years trip, he said, YES, he thanked me for calling and appreciated me remembering his birthday. He even asked how I was doing (a rare one from him). I felt the conversation went very well. I told him to e-mail me or call me sometime. He said, I will, definately I will. Last Friday I saw him walking into a restaurant. I hadn't seen him in 5 weeks since that night. I honked, he got in my car. He only had a few minutes. I said..I'd like to talk to you about that night. He said..okay, e-mail me, no, call me. I said..I was waiting for you to contact me. He said..you're married, I will respond to you, but not initiate. I said..I'm starting to feel like a stalker. He said..you're crazy, I will tell you if you are being that way. I said..you were so freaked that I was trying to give you some space. He said..okay that is fair. I said..can we meet after your lunch appt. He thought for a few seconds and said..just call me. I haven't done anything yet. I don't know what to do. I would like to try another time with him. I'm hoping it would be better if he isn't so freaked, now that he knows H didn't find out and nothing horrible happened. It never would have happened if I had given up long ago, so I don't feel like giving up now. I would like to play with this a while longer. I don't have anyone else to ask, so I need you guys. Any advice on what I should do next. Thanks guys, C
Signatures On
| Mon, 12-22-2003 - 9:11am |
It sounds to me like you want to call him, so CALL HIM! Since he is leaving all contact up to you, it's YOU that is in charge of the NC. Just talk to him a while and determine if he's comfortable meeting you again. That is...if you WANT to meet him. Are you having reservations about it? Is it possible that you gave him the space not because you thought he wanted it but because you needed it? Maybe you didn't realize it consciously... I've found that often I'll do things with the justification that MM is getting scared and needs room but when I really look back on it, it was me who needed the time to recover.
| Mon, 12-22-2003 - 9:42am |
Thanks lilah, I didn't need space, I was wanting him to make the first next move. Now I've gotten my answer on that though. I can only call during the day, but he is always busy at work. I don't see him anymore since he changed jobs, so it is something we would have to plan (which he doesn't like to do). I am also not sure if this is the best time because of the holidays and he leaves next Monday for one week. I guess I need to call and ask when would be a good time to talk. I don't want to be dramatic. I'm finding it so strange to have been with him and then not talk or see each other. It's weird for me. I thought it so strange that I ran into him last Friday. I said a few times, this is so weird, he just said, no it's not. I think this is all a much bigger deal for me than him. C
