I know how you are feeling, my AP and I just ended things because of the feelings for each other and the guilt. At first it was full steam ahead, we were together three times a week and then once a week, down to once every 2 weeks, mostly because of our schedules, but I was more emotional than he was, I told him how I felt and he backed away. He said that we couldn't bring
Why are men able to pull back like that? For the same reason they are able to have an affair and have it really be nothing more than what it is. Obviously, you can't do that. You can tell yourself that you can, but you really can't, and for this reason, the longer you stay in this situation, the harder and more gut-wrenchingly painful it is going to be for you when it ends, which it will. Not only when it ends, but every stop along the way. It already is, obviously, by how enmeshed you are with his thoughts/feelings. This isn't extracurricular fun for you like it is for him. Which isn't to say that he doesn't care about you. I'm sure he does to some degree. But men are able to play nooky for a night, a weekend, a week and still not take it all that seriously. But you take all of this as a "relationship". I suspect that you are going to get hurt in the long run. For this reason, I would seriously evaluate just what you're doing, why you're doing it and what you hope to accomplish.
He only has all of the control because you are giving it to him. The way for you to get your power back is to extricate yourself from the situation. As long as you remain in this affair with him, you will continually acquiese to him because you need the high that this affair provides you. I know you don't see this now, but you will when all is said and done. Don't be anyone's plaything. You are handing him your dignity. It sounds like the only time this thing is fun for you is when you're with him, and he's acting like you're just the deal. The rest of it isn't fun for you, which is par for the course with these affairs.
I just didnt want to come off clingy at first and it seemed to work cause he couldnt get enough, I do think some of it is his feelings and he is scared to get to close.
Hi Soul,
I'm sorry that it hurts you when he pulls back but I think I can tell you why. He pulls back because of the guilt. He's enjoying himself
Much peace & Love,
Rayne
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Hi soul,
I know how you are feeling, my AP and I just ended things because of the feelings for each other and the guilt. At first it was full steam ahead, we were together three times a week and then once a week, down to once every 2 weeks, mostly because of our schedules, but I was more emotional than he was, I told him how I felt and he backed away. He said that we couldn't bring
How can men go from being so into you one minute and not the next?
I have not told him my feelings toward him.
I did hear from AP after work. I sent him a text in the am and he never replied. I didnt expect to hear from him later in the day.
He only has all of the control because you are giving it to him. The way for you to get your power back is to extricate yourself from the situation. As long as you remain in this affair with him, you will continually acquiese to him because you need the high that this affair provides you. I know you don't see this now, but you will when all is said and done. Don't be anyone's plaything. You are handing him your dignity. It sounds like the only time this thing is fun for you is when you're with him, and he's acting like you're just the deal. The rest of it isn't fun for you, which is par for the course with these affairs.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.