Update on Sat

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2010
Update on Sat
10
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 1:05pm

I hope everyone had a good weekend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
In reply to: soulshine79
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 3:31pm

Hi Soul,


I'm sorry that it hurts you when he pulls back but I think I can tell you why. He pulls back because of the guilt. He's enjoying himself

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2010
In reply to: soulshine79
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 4:04pm
Thank you for your reply.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2010
In reply to: soulshine79
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 7:09pm

Hi soul,


I know how you are feeling, my AP and I just ended things because of the feelings for each other and the guilt. At first it was full steam ahead, we were together three times a week and then once a week, down to once every 2 weeks, mostly because of our schedules, but I was more emotional than he was, I told him how I felt and he backed away. He said that we couldn't bring

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
In reply to: soulshine79
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 8:05pm
Why are men able to pull back like that? For the same reason they are able to have an affair and have it really be nothing more than what it is. Obviously, you can't do that. You can tell yourself that you can, but you really can't, and for this reason, the longer you stay in this situation, the harder and more gut-wrenchingly painful it is going to be for you when it ends, which it will. Not only when it ends, but every stop along the way. It already is, obviously, by how enmeshed you are with his thoughts/feelings. This isn't extracurricular fun for you like it is for him. Which isn't to say that he doesn't care about you. I'm sure he does to some degree. But men are able to play nooky for a night, a weekend, a week and still not take it all that seriously. But you take all of this as a "relationship". I suspect that you are going to get hurt in the long run. For this reason, I would seriously evaluate just what you're doing, why you're doing it and what you hope to accomplish.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
In reply to: soulshine79
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 8:29pm

How can men go from being so into you one minute and not the next?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2010
In reply to: soulshine79
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 11:08am

I have not told him my feelings toward him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2010
In reply to: soulshine79
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 11:21am
It is a hard situation, but I know I did it to myself and cannot blame anyone else.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2010
In reply to: soulshine79
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 11:27am

I did hear from AP after work. I sent him a text in the am and he never replied. I didnt expect to hear from him later in the day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
In reply to: soulshine79
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 2:23pm

He only has all of the control because you are giving it to him. The way for you to get your power back is to extricate yourself from the situation. As long as you remain in this affair with him, you will continually acquiese to him because you need the high that this affair provides you. I know you don't see this now, but you will when all is said and done. Don't be anyone's plaything. You are handing him your dignity. It sounds like the only time this thing is fun for you is when you're with him, and he's acting like you're just the deal. The rest of it isn't fun for you, which is par for the course with these affairs.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2010
In reply to: soulshine79
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 3:17pm
I just didnt want to come off clingy at first and it seemed to work cause he couldnt get enough, I do think some of it is his feelings and he is scared to get to close.