Update...MM vs. SM

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Update...MM vs. SM
3
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 4:47pm
Just wanted to post an update to my prior post about dating while with MM. Last night was awful. I fought with MM all night long. I haven't cried so hard in ages. He was so cruel and mean and vindictive.....all because I told him I was going to go on a date with this man I met and had a connection with.

Then today, SM asked me to go to lunch with him and I said I would. MM told me to cancel because he wanted to go to lunch with me. (He NEVER asks me to go to lunch, I have always been the one to ask him.) I said I wouldn't because that would be rude. He got really mean again and pretty much dealt me an ultimatum that I could either continue to talk to him or date SM.

I told him he was being unfair. I understand that he is hurt and jealous. But, how does he think I feel every time he tells me how he feels about me and then goes home to W? I am 26 years old, do I really want to spend these years of my life like this? I also really don't like this mean side of him. I don't know what he is trying to accomplish, but I am only getting angry now. At least this is a side of MM I am seeing after only a month. The things he said.......I've never had a man speak to me that way....

I've said before, I care SO MUCH about him. I want him in my life, even if just as a friend. He always said that too. I just want to scream at him....IT IS JUST A FREAKING DATE!!!!! And it is on a Friday...the day he goes home to W.

He is just pushing me toward SM right now. Anyway, that's my vent and an update. Thank you all for your advice. I am really excited about the date with SM on Friday!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 4:54pm
Numbers,

That just might be the push you need to go into SM's direction. As I said earlier, give the SM a chance and spend a lot of time with him. You don't necessarily want to tell all this to MM since it will make you and him miserable. Give the SM a chance. He might be the guy who makes you forget all others. Sometimes fate has unusual ways to help us get ourselves out of unhealthy predicaments.

PG

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 5:06pm
It sounds like MM is very possessive of you. I would definitely lean more towards SM at this point, especially since you said that MM was being cruel and vindictive. You definitely don't need that!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2004
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 5:17pm
Run away. Run far, far away. How dare he treat you and talk to you like that. You are not married, HE is. You have every right to be dating and how dare he tell you otherwise when he is going home to his W every night? SM is sounding better and better by the minute...and if MM is already treating you like this after a month how do you think he'll treat you after a year?! Just something to think about.....