Used to post here quite a bit

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Used to post here quite a bit
5
Mon, 09-15-2003 - 5:58pm
Hi,

I used to post here quite a bit under an old name, upsidedown, and I just wanted to stop in and say hi. MM and I decided to be just friends about 6 months ago after several months of a physical relationship and saying "I love you" all the time. Was it hard? OMG yes but we are doing really well. We started a business together, something several people warned me against, we don't have to see each other everyday. We can turn to each other when we need to for support and and ear. Do I still love him, yes but this is what he could give right now (he felt too guilty and had to step back) Funny thing is, he has started calling me sweety the other day again. We agreed that he would never start anything again without being absolutely sure thats what he wanted. I have no idea if he is or not and he knew I was not going to sit and pine away for him but I am fine either way. Neither spouse ever found out so there has not been anything that we had to fix there.

I just wanted to say hi and let everyone know that even when an A takes a strange twist, that it will be fine, we are all strong human beings and ther are times when it is ok to be friends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2003
Mon, 09-15-2003 - 6:08pm
I don't think I could be friends with mm. I feel way to strongly about him. I've always managed to stay friends with my ex's. But I've never felt this strongly about anyone, I didn't think it could ever be this way. Anyhow, I'm glad that you are able to be friends with mm. Goodluck on your buisness & with whatever future you two chose for the both of you. Jdreamer
Avatar for jeanbob
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Mon, 09-15-2003 - 6:26pm
It's nice to hear from you again, and especially nice to hear that you're doing well. It gives me hope--whatever happens with my EMA, I would really like to stay friends with MM. I'm glad to know that it's possible!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Mon, 09-15-2003 - 7:04pm
Hi myowngirl,

While it may not be the fairytale ending... it's so nice to hear that all is not lost after an EMA... and given two strong people, they can get through and still remain friends.

I shall keep your story to heart and remember it should I ever need it.

Thankyou for sharing it with us.

luv and hugs

Sweet

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-16-2003 - 10:54am
hey girl -- that's great to hear that you survived and prospered after the A ended. congrats and keep up the good work living your own life!

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Tue, 09-16-2003 - 11:24am
It is good to hear it can work out like that. It has to be hard, knowing you've shared so much but going back to being friends. I met my MM through work and we've so far tried to keep it just "friendly flirting," but he has said he loves me in every way but actually saying the three words. We also kissed a couple of times but he totally freaked out over the guilt and fear of being caught. I just fear we'll end up not speaking to each other. I'd rather have absolutely nothing but friendship with him right now and be with him in 5 years than to have everything in the world with him right this second and not be speaking down the line... Since we work together, it would be pure torture to come to this building and be so close but not able to talk. It sounds like eventually you'll creep back into your involvement, but if you're like me, you probably fear going back into it again and getting hurt when he starts getting scared again. That's how I feel anyway. This week, MM has been coming on pretty strong and mentioning wanting to kiss me, and I'm torn between wanting to kiss him more than I want to breathe and fear of getting back involved and getting my heart stomped all over in a couple of weeks when the guilt sets in. Why is it the physical is easier for me than the emotional??? I could probably give my entire body to the guy without much guilt, but I still to this day can't say I love him very easily. I just feel like I should keep my heart protected, and saying those words just puts my heart right out there on the table for him to do with as he pleases.