Using "Love" but not "I Love You"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2004
Using "Love" but not "I Love You"
6
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 7:28pm
My MM hasn't said those 3 big words, but we've only known each other for 4 months. But I always smile when the word "love" is used in other ways, like "I love your __insert name of private part" or "I love it when you ..." Sometimes it seems like he almost goes out of his way to say that word, almost putting emphasis on it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2003
Ok i read your post and yes i know how much it means for you to hear MM say he loves you, because I also wanted my MM to say it too. We broke up b/c i sent him a nasty email b/c i was fed up with his crap with NC for months on end. I let a mth go by without contacting MM and then i one day just picked up the phone and told him how sorry i was and we got back together, now fast forward to the present it has been a year and i started feeling like MM would never feel love for me and out of the blue we were chatting on the computer and he said "I love you" i had that sick feeling b/c i wanted sooo much to hear that from him and here it was, i thought "yes, now we are on the same page, i even cried but i didnt tell MM. I was on cloud nine, it's now been a month and i still have not heard from MM. He told me he loved me and disppeared out of my life without even a goodbye. Yes, i am hurting b/c i thought i really wanted to hear those three little words but now i wish i didnt. It makes it so much harder now b/c everything he said that day just keeps repeating in my head especially the "I love you part." I realized that he doesnt love me, i dont know why he said it, he even fed me the line that he really doesnt tell anybody he loves them and i fell hook, line, and sinker. I wish you the best and i hope that your MM does say it, but remember this i love you means nothing unless they show it, in my case he hasnt showed it so yes i am letting it go. I wish you all the happiness and i hope you get more from MM because you and anyone else deserve to know that your MM loves you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2004
I think there's a significant difference between "I love your..." and "I love you." Please be careful that you don't delude yourself into thinking they are one and the same. I hear the same stuff, "I love it when you..." or "I love being with you..." and I have to stop myself from assuming too much. If I wanted him to think I loved him, I would say it, flat out. Wouldn't you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Well sorry to say that he really does like your private part more than you. I don't mean to be harsh, but if that is what he said to you with out the "I love you" , that is what I would think. Nothing bad about it all if you ask me , but I would put too much into it as far as love goes....
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
secretgarden, honey, it's early, way early in your A to be anticipating "i love you" from MM. you are just getting to know each other and not in a "normal" way. As are for fun, on-the-side Rs, not the primary love R. try to settle down and enjoy the time and attention you get with your MM. don't overthink his words. he says what he means and the words are what they are -- if he loves your ___, he loves your ____. if he feels like he loves you, he'll say it when he feels it. relax and enjoy!!

life

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
life I am not secretgarden, really!! PLus my MM hasn't seen my privates yet.... LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2004
No, I know that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your..." I don't even know if I WANT him to say "I love you" because I'm still not sure what I'd do with that. In all my relationships, those words seemed to come so fast from the guys I was with, and I ended up wishing they hadn't come so early. But it feels so good to be loved, you know?

And it seems as if he at least values our friendship right now. We talk probably 3-5 times per day, without the promise of sex happening any time soon, or even seeing each other in person.

I'm happy with the relationship where it is at right now. The friendship+sex part suits me just fine.

Regardless of that, though, it still makes me smile to hear "I love your..."