VERY Confused... :(
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| Thu, 08-28-2003 - 2:27pm |
For instance, he can no longer call me because his W has been checking his cell phone bill...so it's up to me to do all the calling. MM has been saying that he's going to get another phone that W won't know about, but he hasn't done it. So, I'm doing all the calling, but it's frustrating because he's so busy (work), or he's on his way home, or W is calling, or someone business-related is calling, etc. I hate having to hear "call me back in about an hour", only to call back and have the same thing happen. Not only that, but our phone conversations aren't very intimate on an emotional level -- it's more like it's all a "sexual" thing. When we're together, it's completely different, and the love we have for each other is there, but it's not there at all during these phone conversations. I don't know if I'm reading too much into this, if I'm expecting too much, or what..?? I would love to talk this out with him, but there never seems to be a good time to bring it up, and besides that, I do NOT want to pressure him! I mean, sometimes I think that I should tell him what I want out of this and see if he is able/willing to give it, but then I think...should I really have to tell him what I want? I mean...if it was there, it would be there...I wouldn't have to be so specific...or would I???
I don't know...like I said, I'm very confused! And to make matters worse, my M is not going so well...H has been sleeping on the couch for the past week, and said to me a few days ago: "Either a) you don't love me anymore, b) you're not attracted to me anymore, or c) you're having an affair." OMG! I wanted to say "Ummm...can I choose 'd', all of the above???" lol Just kidding...it's really not funny, I know, and I do love my H, I'm just not "in love" with him, and the attraction has been gone for a while now...which is sad. But we're supposed to be spending the entire weekend with his family, and I just don't know how/if I can pull it off...
Anyone have any advice/suggestions/words of wisdom?? TIA!

Edited 8/29/2003 10:37:37 AM ET by charlotte1203
Edited 6/1/2004 10:53 pm ET ET by charlotte1203
men need to be told specifically what is required of them. your MM can't read your mind. if the EMA started as just sex (fwb), are you changing the rules now? he's your xH so you obviously know him well. communicate with him and let him know you don't want to do all the work in the R. he needs to get that new cellphone so he can call you. be as honest as you can and let him know how you feel, without anger. just talk to him.
as for your H, if you want to keep your M, work on that relationship. pay attention to your H and make him feel loved and wanted. that couch is one step closer to the door.
be careful and make the effort required to keep your H happy.
take care,
gurl
good Luck,
MaruBaby....